[Anonymous]

Hi

I am feeling pretty lost at the moment.
Have been with partner for nearly 5 years and have experienced a lot together, traveled, share the same hobbies ect..
We got engaged about a year and a half ago and plan on getting married next year.
My problem is we have no sexual intimacy at [u]all[/u]. She has never had a sex drive, even before she met me she told me its something that has never interested her.
I can really only recall having regular sex in the first month of our relationship but i put that down to honeymoon period and she probably felt she wanted to be closer to me as it was new.

I should probably make it clear that I have tried everything possible to try and help her find a reason to enjoy it but she would much rather cuddle or go out, she has a zero sex drive. Its now starting to cause a huge stress on the relationship from my side, she doesn’t seem all that bothered and even though its becoming a daily topic she isnt making any effort.
I have recently started to feel that maybe I need to think about ending it, the idea that we will be together forever and I will never have sex again is extremely depressing. I am a 30 year old guy with a high sex drive and cant stop thinking about how good it would be to feel intimate with someone again.

I do love her and this may sound weird, but i feel she loves me more and the idea of ending is a sad because I feel she would suffer the most but i don’t want to wake up in 20 years and think “Why did I let this carry on?”

I guess I am looking for advice based on these few facts of what I should do?

Thanks

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Obviously, she needs to see a doctor to make sure her body is functioning properly. Sometimes a low or missing sex drive is a result of some other condition. If the doctor can’t help her with this problem — and it is a problem because it’s affecting you, her fiance — and she isn’t interested in having sex with you for the simple fact that YOU would enjoy it, then I think the relationship isn’t going to work. Sex is a part of any healthy relationship. You have a normal, healthy sex drive, and you shouldn’t have to be having NO sex at your age. 😯

If you’re with someone who gets sick and can’t have sex or if you’re with someone who’s sex drive drops because of terrible stress or even age related loss of libido, I’d give you different advice, but this isn’t the way to start a marriage. Sorry.

Let me know how things work out for you — and please follow me @Askaprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook: [url][/url].

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