[Anonymous]

I have known this man, my friend, for over 2 years years. We met as a result of my divorce, which lasted over 2 years and was finalized 6 months ago. He was a huge support during that process. I am a better person because of him. We speak daily, usually several times each day. We talk about what we did in the day, work, family, etc. The calls are made by both of us. We really don’t see each other often, due to family, work, and just time.
Generally, he stays in contact with his many ex-girlfriends. He has been divorced for about 20 years. i was the same person for 13 years.
Earlier this year, we dated exclusively, but he went back to his last girlfriend. That has ended again. They have known each other for years and their families are friends.
He has explained that he cares for her, but there are certain things that he can’t accept. It sounds like she is jealous. (His work involves frequent phone calls. His work usually comes from friends and other contacts. )
He has explained that for some reason, a relationship with him, goes so far and then he ends it. He has told me what he likes me about me and his concern that he will hurt me, because he always ends things. That it is his him and often not the other person’s fault.
A few weeks ago, I asked if we could spend time together again.
We both agreed. I don’t understand our relationship. We are together in so many ways, but than we aren’t really. Do you understand what this is?

[Ask April Masini]

Listen to your boyfriend!! ❗ He is telling you that he will end this relationship after a certain point, regardless of what happens, and that it’s got nothing to do with you — it’s about [i]his[/i] intra-personal dynamics. He’s giving you every inch of the roadmap to what your relationship with him will be like.

If you’re like so many other readers, you will ignore him, and then wonder, down the line, why you’re so confused about the the way things are going. 🙁

Your boyfriend doesn’t want a long term commitment with a woman, and he’s being upfront with you about it. He’ll be a good friend, and if you want, he’ll date you for a limited amount of time. He’s not someone who’s available for the long run. Since you’re only six months into your new life as a legally single woman, my advice to you is to keep him as a friend, since he’s got a history of remaining friends with women in his life, but look elsewhere for men to date.

As a new divorcee, it’s easy to feel scared of what could possibly happen if you start dating. It can be scary out there when you haven’t been out there — but you can do it!! Don’t avoid dating in the real world by instead, dating a man who seems like he’s safe because he’s been such a good friend to you, but who’s really not available. 😥

Buy yourself a newly single woman present, Think & Date Like A Man, a book I’ve written for women who are interested in dating and want some support and advice! You can download it here [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. Read it, and consider getting yourself out there, into the dating world, now that you’re really available, and are interested in an equally available man!

I hope that helps — let me know how things go. 🙂

[Author]

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