[thebutterflyeffect]

I met someone who I thought I get along well with. I did not intend to have anything more than friendship with this person. But I feel that he’s been flirting with me – saying I’m beautiful, asking to meet up at his apartment and coming to mine etc. and so I assumed he might be interested in me that way.

Then I found out he has a girlfriend. See I am very serious when it comes to things like this, and I think it is completely wrong that he even says things like this to me. I feel bad for myself and his girlfriend – I have too much respect and dignity for myself to let this fester. So I confronted him; poorly but confronted him nevertheless. I am new to relationships (never been in one!) and other such things, but I think I feel as if I am being played around with – whether he wants me to like him that way knowing he has a gf, an ego boost? The confrontation was awkward and he sensed my reservedness but he says he is still with his gf etc. and I don’t wanted to get tangled. Not sure if I made it clear how I think the things he says is inappropriate but I will probably see him so WHAT DO I DO – avoid him, or just be friends.

I had no idea he was like this. Flirty and playful is fine when you’re single, but to me, if you are in a relationship – it’s disrespectful. I feel stupid now; thinking that he may of liked me, and for confronting him…maybe I got it wrong and that’s embarassing on my part – BUT DID I?!

He said he wants to just be friends – so why would he do this to me? I don’t understand!
I will definately see him around – so what do I do, keep my distance or pretend it never happened.

I don’t think I made myself clear to him about why I wasn’t comfortable with it all too. He said he is not trying to have sex with me – which made me shocked because I wasn’t even thinking that!I believe he now thinks I am naive to think that he liked me that way – but was he not leading me on?!

Or does he want me to respond by flirting etc… he wants me to like him, but know he has a gf?! A bloody ego boost or what? SO WHAT SHOULD I DO ? As I said before I have no experience in the field of dating before, so I don’t know if this is normal and I’m overreacting. So I guess I would just like some perspective on this, am I being too serious and old-fashioned, and over analysing it. When I read over what he has wrote it’s not that extreme I suppose – just seemed like he was keen to see me… but meeting him in his apartment etc. made me feel a little uncomfortable knowing he has a gf.

I’d be greatful if someone was to shed some light on this for me!

Thanks for advice!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Not everybody feels the same way about relationships. He’s flirting with you, even though he has a girlfriend, and for you this is wrong. So you should be true to yourself, and instead of getting angry at him, step away from the relationship that doesn’t feel right to you.

The thing is, I never advocate men and women being friends because one person always likes the other more, and there is miscommunication at best and heart ache at worst.

So, since you’re new to relationships, decide what works for you and then stick with that — but don’t get angry when others don’t feel the same way. Instead, just steer clear of them. Find the people with the same values you have, and you’ll be a lot happier. 😀

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