[35Shaggy80]

16yrs of history, two beautiful girls ages 10 and 4, and been divorced now 8yrs. My ex asked me to move back in with her she said to help with the girls, gave me my own room and said we would be just friends. Is that possible? Does she really want more and is she just testing me? And if she is being being sincere and just wants friendship, then How do you live with your ex that you still secretly love???? I know I’m not here because of money because staying voids child support arrangements. Please Help before I lose my mind

[April Masini, your AskApril]

These are all good questions. But I don’t have enough information about the relationship you have with your ex to answer some of them. I assume that you want to get back together with her. Why did you divorce? And is she dating someone else? Did you have a discussion with her about getting back together, and if so, what was the upshot?

Clearly, you’re in love with her, and it’s going to be impossible to be just friends because you have feelings for her. I never think that men and women can be just friends for this reason. If you move in with her, and she’s dating someone else, you’re going to be miserable, stuck, and subjecting your children to more chaos than they need. Or…. if you move in with her and have your own bedroom, and YOU start dating someone else, it’s more chaos.

The best compromise you can make is to tell her that you’d love to move in with her, but not as friends. And if she’s interested, you should start dating again before you even pack a box of your things so that you both have a better idea of whether or not you can make it work this time. It’s going to require both of you having processed why you fell in love, what went wrong, and what you can do differently to prevent a second break up. Basically, you need to have an understanding.

I hope this helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

Posts