[rman1236]

You see 5 weeks ago my university started a new quarter, my final quarter until I graduate, where I met this girl in one of my classes. And over these past couples of weeks we have spent a lot of time and have gotten to know each other very well to the extent that I started to develop an interest in her. During this time I was able to gauge her interest in me and her relationship status. We spent time, flirted and touch each other a lot. From all this time I had come to figure out that she was showing signs of interest and that she was single. However, the single part was not that simple as she was just 8 months removed from a 5 year long relationship. With all this knowledge today I proceeded with caution and I got myself to get the courage to tell this girl that I liked her. I did this for two reason: 1) I wasn’t sure if she knew I was interested her in that way and I wanted her to know before thinking that I just wanted us to be super friendly friends and 2) I was hoping by letting her have the knowledge that a guy is out there and is interested in her that it will help her get over her past relationship. So when I did this I first I told her that I know she might not be ready for another relationship and that if she just wanted to be friends would me it would be just fine. Then I went on to tell her how happy I am being around her and how I never met a girl like her. Finally I went on to say I like you and then told/asked her that when she would be ready if she would like to go out on a date with me? She smiled, giggled in a very flattered way and replied “Ok”. I don’t know why but kind of thrown off I accidentally said out loud “Really?” to which she then replied (and I did not want to hear) “But not now though, I’m still not ready.” So after this whole ordeal, and being super relieved to get this off my chest, I still walked her to her class and we both gave each other a hug as we always do now since last week. Ok, so after all this I am still left with a few questions with the first one being how should I continue to act with her now that she knows that when we hang out that I like her? The second being is there anything I can do while we continue to hang out that might help her get more comfortable with the fact of dating? And the third being how long would be too long to wait for her to be ready? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Ok, so after all this I am still left with a few questions with the first one being how should I continue to act with her now that she knows that when we hang out that I like her? The second being is there anything I can do while we continue to hang out that might help her get more comfortable with the fact of dating? And the third being how long would be too long to wait for her to be ready? [/quote]

My advice is that you ask her out on a date, with a time, a place and a day. In other words, ask her to go to the movies with you Saturday, and you’ll pick her up at 7 p.m. at her place. You need to take the lead in dating. Part of the reason you’re both confused is because there isn’t a clear direction here. As the man, it’s your job to set the tone by choosing the date and getting a yes.

Next, my advice is to stop being so available. She hasn’t had a boyfriend in eight months — it’s not too soon for you to become her next one! But there’s an order to things, and a first date is the first step. If you put yourself in the friend zone 😕 you’re not going to be look like a boyfriend. You’ll look like this guy who’s always around and will take what he can get.

Hope that helps! Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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