[whatisbesthere]

Hi there — I am new here. I am struggling BIG time with a man I love very deeply. I’m going to keep this as short as I can.
We just got engaged — about a month ago. He expected me to move to him — about 3 hours away from my place of work and my 9 year old son.
Because I am the “man” in my previous relationship — my ex maintained primary custody because he doesn’t work nearly as much as I do. I have been the breadwinner.
My fiancé is well off and doesn’t NEED me to work — and he wants me to just quit without a job and move to be with him — and drive back and forth every other weekend and once during the week to see my son. Which is about what I see him even while living in his town – because I work so much.

Anyway, my fiancé is very bitter over my ex and the child support I have to pay. He has begged me to quit like I said without a job — but he also tells me that he can’t guarantee that we can cover hotel expenses to see my son. He said I would need to stay with friends etc – if times got tough.

I told him that I felt that I should keep working until I found a new job in his town — just to make sure I always can cover my bills. He was NOT okay. He says I don’t trust him.

well, one time a few months ago he got angry at me for wanting to stay overnight after work in my son’s hometown — instead of driving back to his house. I wanted to stay in a hotel. He was so mad that he cut off my access to money. He said he THOUGHT I had a credit card. I didn’t. I had no place to sleep because I didn’t even have gas money to get back to his house at that point. Well, I tried calling him and he wouldn’t answer. His daughter couldn’t even reach him. So, I had to stay at my ex husband’s house – who was kind enough to allow me to sleep with my son.

My fiancé blew up and sais I should have NEVER stayed there. And he insinuated I was a cheater. I say this – because this is the basis of my lack of trust. When I remind him of the fact that he cut me off – he freaks out and says that I just don’t trust and I should have never gotten engaged.

Well, last night he became VERY angry that I wanted to continue to work at my job 3 hours away. I have been doing a DAILY commute of 6 hours – to live at his house and work – because he worries that I will cheat or something. I have done this to make him feel secure. I’m super exhausted.

So he doesn’t want that to continue either – but I don’t know if I should trust him when I have no money and no job?? He says I can — but what if he decides that he cuts me off over some strange argument?

He tells me that I am acting like a victim and that I will just need to control my impulses to drive to see my son too many times a week.

So — my last day at work COULD BE tomorrow — unless I beg to stay on longer — I do NOT want to leave this man — I love him — but I admit that I’m worried about trusting him.

I asked him last night to put it in writing that he would always pay my child support until I get a job and he refused. He said that I am acting insane for asking something like that… What do you think?

[Clara]

I remember you! And, I’m happy to answer you, but it seems that you actually already posted under a [b]different user name[/b] here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/forums2/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=324932[/url]. I’m happy to answer any questions you have is you will go back to your original string of posts and add any new questions as a “reply”. 😉

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