[mysteriouseyes84]

Hi everyone

I am 30 years old female single. I was in a serious relationship for 3 years but broke up with my boyfriend a year ago due to trust and compatibility issues. Now I am over him and looking forward to my good future. I like a guy from work who is always on work assignments at client locations. So he come back to city once in 2 months or so. When I met him I was committed to my ex. We strike of well. I used to work overtimes those day and whenever he was around he used to come to my desk. We always ended up talking for 2-3 hours. I developed some kind of feeling towards him. I was happy to see me around. Meanwhile I had break up. I did not thought about this guy at all. He was around few times and we talk nicely. Sometime I felt that he is attracted towards me but he is not coming forward as it might look bad in office setup. I catch him looking at me many times, He will check me out if I am talking with someone else. I am shy to go forward and ask him something.

The other reason here is he have his own group of friends at work and whenever he is around they always have dinners/lunches planned. Once I was sitting late and he came to my cubicle and started talking. He was asking my plans for that night but my manager came. He took him to a nearby restaurant to grab something. When they walked out of building he sent a text saying I am sorry I could have sked to come along but boss wanted to do some business talk. Next time when he had plans to go out for dinner with his friends he asked me to join. There was a concert in city same day and I told him I might join my friends there and he join me. For which he said he will see. I told him that I am going to gym and he can text me when he will leave. Unfortunately my phone did not work properly that day. He sent me text that he is leaving. By the time I came from gym (20 minutes later) I saw him walking with boss to main door. He waited for me there for some time and boss came to ask him come along. He heard the door opening behind his back so he came back to see if I was back to my desk. But stupid me I went to the window to see if those people already sat in cars. When I came back to desk a very close friend of mine was standing there. When this guy saw that he turned back (may be because he is shy). I felt bad about that he could have asked me or text me to come. So I did not go to dinner. I went back home. He sent me text around 8:30 which I received at 10 that “Why didn’t you come? Did you go to concert”. I told him, since they all left and I did not know where the restaurant exactly was, I decided to go back home. He then replied “ok good night”

Next day he was ok, behaved normally so does I. During his last visit he helped me with some stuff so I offered him to go for coffee or lunch which he said he will see as he is in town for 4 days and he will be in office till late night. Next day I think he was waiting for me for lunch and he did not go for lunch with his group. I did not asked him that he being a guy should come and ask this time that “are we on with our plan?”. He did not, me being hesitant did not asked. So later he ate at his desk.

Sometime I feel strongly attracted to him, sometime I feel I am just infatuated but this is happening from 2 years what is it? How to approach him? Trust me I completely get confused/nervous when it comes to talking to him since I started feeling so strong about him. I like him and I will really like to date him to see how good/compatible we can be. I see good chances there because I feel there is something so natural and special about this relation. Please help me. For your information he is American and I am south Asian. My hesitancy comes from my culture where girls do not express feelings openly. I am very open when it comes to my friends but here I behave as if my lips are zip locked. Please advice what should I do here. Should I pursue it? Yes I want to pursue it. But how to get him understand my feelings and how I will know what exactly he feels about me? What is in his heart about me? Where he see me in his life?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like your shyness is keeping you from letting him know that you’re interested — enough for him to ask you out on a date. He needs you to give him a little bit more of a clue that you like him, so that he can have the courage to ask you out. Everybody is fearful of rejection to some extent, and that’s why if you flirt with him, he’ll realize you like him, and he’s going to be more apt to ask you out on a date, than if you don’t flirt with him. 😉 You don’t have to completely give up being shy, but you do have to smile at him, laugh at his jokes, compliment him and pay attention to him — enough so that he’ll realize you like him. 🙂 Try it.

[mysteriouseyes84]

Hi April Thanks for your reply.
Now this is the thing..I think I am very bad at flirting. Can you please suggest something. He will be here next week and I really want to be sure where this is going. I want to know clearly if he is into me or I ma just reading between lines.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you’re very bad at flirting, then remember that practice makes perfect. 🙂 Smile at 20 new people every day. Make small talk. Compliment him — and other men. Tell them what they’re good at. That’s how you flirt. 😎

Does that help?

[mysteriouseyes84]

Thank you April..hope this trick works!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Me, too! 😀

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