[Alf]

This girl I was seeing for a few months while she was unhappily married kept saying to me about living together in time. She has 2 kids which are 5 and 7. Her marriage has ended. I really do love her still and she finished with me and said she needs space and that she’s going to let me know when or if she’s ready. We talk every day still. She’s told me she don’t want any bloke atm. But still really likes me. What do I do. I don’t want to move on she makes me really happy she’s also said to me the other night that she does still like me. Do I give her that space and wait for her as she did tell me that she will let me know when she’s ready or if she’s ready does that mean she won’t

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You mentioned in your pre-posting questionnaire, that she is not divorced yet. That means she’s still married and she has two children with her husband. I know that she is divorcing and the two of you were dating while she was married, but what you may not realize is how big a deal divorce, especially divorce with children, really is. She’s about to become a single mother and she may have co-parenting responsibilities with her husband, so she’s got a lot going on. When she tells you that she still likes you but that she needs some space, that makes a lot of sense given all that she’s going through. I think that since you really like her, the best way to keep her in your life is to back off but not disappear. Call her every week or couple of weeks. Send her flowers or chocolates and let her know you’re there. But don’t invest all your romantic energy in a relationship with her. She really does have to figure out this next part of her life, and soon enough, you’ll find out if you’re a part of it, or if you were a relationship that helped her get through a difficult time in her marriage as it was ending. Space and time are your friends. Don’t feel like they mean things are over. But do give her respect to end her marriage that she needs. I hope that helps. 😉

[Freya Jhon]

You’re sitting in the “Waiting Room” while she’s standing right by the “Exit Door.” When someone tells you, “I’m not ready for anyone right now, but I still like you,” they are essentially giving you breadcrumbs of hope just to keep you from leaving. It’s a massive ego boost for her, but for you, it’s a complete waste of time.
In my view, the pressure of children and a divorce is very real, but you aren’t some “spare part” she can pick up whenever she feels like it and throw back on the shelf when she’s done.
Show some self-respect. Back off entirely and let her come to you. If she’s actually serious about you, she’ll make the move.

[Member]

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