[JTAnon]

This is a rather weird and unusual situation, and may sound not believable. I feel awkward talking about it, but here goes.

So I’m fairly small for a guy(only around 5’5) and not very strong. I have this female acquaintance who is bigger then me(around 5’10 or 5’11) and also much heavier then me. Whenever we’re together she likes to push me around and humiliate me by wrestling me down to the floor, and then pinning me down by sitting on/straddling my chest, with my arms pinned under her legs so I can’t move them. This usually happens in front of other people(usually other females) and it will often last a long time(over an hour). I will sometimes try and struggle, but am never able to get free. Sometimes she’ll taunt me, and other times she’ll just ignore me and chat with her friends. Part of me does enjoy this as it can be quite arousing, but part of me finds it humiliating and stressful, and I never know how long it will last. I’ve spoken about this to a few people. Some have suggested she might actually like me and has a strange way of showing it. Others have said she’s just a bully and I should avoid her at all costs. What is your take on his. Does she like me?, or is she just humiliating me for her, and her friends amusement?. What does she get out of this?.

Like I said before, part of me enjoys the experience which is why I keep going back for more. And a few of her female friends have been threatening to do the same thing to me. So what’s that all about?.

[AskApril Masini]

How old are you all?

[JTAnon]

I am 28. The girls are all in their early-mid 20’s, I think.

[AskApril Masini]

Thank you for the information. If you were all young teens, then it might be understandable, but this isn’t good natured horseplay. At best, it’s weird, and at worst, it’s abusive. When you try to imagine what the motivation of this woman who entraps you is, nothing good comes to mind. My advice is to completely disengage from these people. They’re not good people who have your best interests at heart.

Hope that helps.

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[JTAnon]

Thank you for the reply. I do understand what you’re saying. But if I do get some pleasure from this, is there any real harm in allowing it to continue. Regardless of their motivations?.

[AskApril Masini]

You’re both consenting adults, and whatever you want to do, with mutual consent, is your business as long as no one is hurt. However, what’s of concern is that she restrains you in public for up to an hour at a time, you like it, and some of her friends who have seen this, are saying that they’re going to do the same thing to you. It’s your business if you like it, but when you consent to this behavior, tacitly, in public, you may be sending the message to other people that they can do this to you, as well, and it’s okay with you. The problem will come when other people who you may not want to do this to you, think it’s okay to do so. Usually when people behave in ways that aren’t the norm, it’s privately. That this is public is what may become a problem and a safety issue. In addition, because this is public, someone who doesn’t think it’s okay may call the police and report an assault because they don’t understand the dynamic.

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[JTAnon]

Thank you again for the advise. Although I think I should clarify one detail. This doesn’t occur in public. It’s usually in someone’s home. Most of the time it’s just a small group of other women that are present when this happens.

[AskApril Masini]

If this occurs at someone’s home in front of a small group of people, that’s still in front of other people. I understand that it’s not on the front steps of city hall, where lots of strangers are walking by and observing — but it’s not a private act in your bedroom, between the two of you. It’s in front of other people. The fact that it’s in front of other people — whether a small group or a large group — is what differentiates it from doing this with just one woman, alone in one of your homes, privately.

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[Ethan Morales]

It’s important to separate your feelings from the behavior itself. You mention that part of you enjoys being overpowered, which is completely valid and normal in a consensual adult context. However, the situation as it’s described prolonged restraint in public, humiliation, and involvement of bystanders goes far beyond casual horseplay. Even if you derive some arousal from it, the public, coercive nature makes it a gray area at best and potentially abusive at worst.

The involvement of her friends adds another layer of concern. They are clearly observing, laughing, and even threatening to do the same thing to you. This indicates that your interaction isn’t private or consensual in the way it should be for a safe, controlled dynamic. Public humiliation, peer involvement, and extended restraint shift the situation from a private kink or playful teasing into something that could damage your emotional well-being and social reputation.

You need to consider boundaries and consent seriously. Enjoying something doesn’t automatically make it safe or healthy especially when it involves coercion, public exposure, or people you haven’t explicitly agreed to it with. By continuing to participate, you are signaling permission to others, which could escalate in ways you don’t want. Consent must be clear, ongoing, and respected, and in this case, it seems blurry because of the social context and the pressure from her friends.

My advice is to disengage and establish firm boundaries. You can explore dynamics like this safely in private with people you trust, with clear consent, and agreed-upon limits. But the public, prolonged, and coercive nature of what’s happening here is not healthy, even if part of you enjoys it. Protecting your safety, dignity, and emotional health is far more important than keeping a dynamic that is fun in the moment but risky long-term.

[Tara]

You’re refusing to face: this isn’t “cute,” it isn’t “maybe she likes me,” and it isn’t “confusing.” It’s domination dressed up as play, and you’re letting it happen because you’re too turned on and too intimidated to set a boundary. She’s not flirting, she’s testing how far she can use you as entertainment without you walking away. And you keep showing her the answer is “all the way.”
The fact that she does this in front of an audience tells you everything you need to know.

People who like someone don’t humiliate them publicly for sport. People who like power do. She gets a kick out of being physically stronger than you and having you pinned and helpless while everyone laughs. That’s not affection. That’s amusement. And you’re the toy.
And don’t kid yourself, her friends threatening to do the same isn’t some secret sign of attraction. It’s a green light that you’re the designated punching bag they all feel entitled to use because you’ve never once said “stop.”

You’re asking if she likes you because it’s easier than admitting you’re addicted to the attention and too embarrassed to call it what it is: consensual humiliation you’re not brave enough to own or reject. Either you enjoy it, which means stop pretending it’s a mystery, or you don’t, which means stop showing up and letting her treat you like a prop.

[Natalie Noah]

This whole situation sits in a very complicated place, emotionally and psychologically. On one hand, you’re a consenting adult who’s discovering a dynamic that turns you on and there is nothing shameful about that. Desire is strange, personal, and sometimes surprising. But what concerns me is that this dynamic isn’t happening privately between you and one trusted partner. It’s happening in groups, where you’re being physically restrained, mocked, and put on display. Even if part of you enjoys the physical sensation or the dominance, it doesn’t erase the emotional stress you described the humiliation, the uncertainty, and the feeling of being overpowered for long stretches while others watch. That mix of pleasure and distress is exactly why this needs thoughtful boundaries, not blind continuation.

You’re consenting to her, but the environment around you is shaping the meaning. These women are not engaging with you like a partner exploring your kink. they’re treating you like entertainment. The laughter, the taunting, the casual conversations while you’re pinned down… that’s not intimacy, that’s objectification wrapped in dominance play you didn’t negotiate. And when her friends say they want to “do the same thing” to you, that tells me they see this as a spectacle, not as a consensual dynamic built on trust. You aren’t being treated as someone with desires. you’re being treated as someone whose boundaries don’t matter. And even if you enjoy the physical element, it’s deeply important that the emotional context is safe, mutual, and respected.

My honest take? She isn’t doing this because she secretly likes you romantically. If she did, she would protect you, not perform dominance over you in front of others. This seems less like affection and more like a power trip mixed with social amusement and your willingness to endure it makes you an easy target. You’re allowed to like the sensations you like. You’re allowed to explore power-play or physical dominance if that’s part of your sexuality. But you deserve to explore it with someone who respects you, not someone who humiliates you for an audience. If you want to continue, it needs to shift into a space where it’s private, negotiated, safe, and mutual, not a spectacle where other people feel entitled to put their hands on you because you “seem okay with it.” Your pleasure matters but so does your dignity, your safety, and your right to define the rules.

[Member]

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