[Anonymous]

I am a 30 year old physician living in US. I am great friends with one of my colleague and we happen to be ethnically from same part of the world though different religions and background. Our friendship started suddenly one day after work when she offered me a ride home and we talked and talked and talked even went to eat before she dropped me off home. After that we struck off immediately and she would always ask me what time im a leaving for home so she can drop me off( i dont drive i take a train to work). she would even wait and keep doing something else until i was done with work. We have a lot of things in common especially love for shoppin so we started shoppin together including a 8 hour trip to neighbouring city to shop when she was post-call and awake all night. She kept insisting that she is fine and would like to go w me. But on the other hand she keeps giving me mixed signals. We always discuss the topic of marriage and she wants to get marriage since she is pushing 30. She is 28 anyways so she keeps telling me abt if she met any guy. Just a few days ago she told me “i give up on this marriage thing. i will never find anyone”. so i offered help that i will help u find someone which she gladly accepted. She is leaving for a NY city next year in JULY for her fellowship(since she is one year senior to i am) so casually mentioned that I will have to come to NY city every weekend so we can hang out together. She has so far shown no signs of any interest directly that she likes me. I dont even know if she does. All i get is mixed signals and contradictory statements abt her self and us. She did state im very intelligent, funny and cool guy and she likes hanging out with me. On the other hand when we go out for dinners and lunches she keeps asking me questions about my private life especially if i found somebody. On the other hand she does have other male friends(not this close though) but she happens to be very friendly person and has 3 times more people on her facebook than i do. She does seem to enjoy my company and keeps looking for opportunities so that we can hang out. Most people at work dont have a clue we are so close friends cos we dont talk to eachother very much at work (cos she thinks people will make up stories and rumors). she appears to be very calm cool and caring but yet suddenly she will appear very self centred and arogant. So i have no clue what to do with her. I cant lose her as a friend by asking her any dumb questions. She does state to me how her dream man will look like and what he will be. I have totally opposite of that description except that im also a doctor like her. Please need advice what to make out of this and whats going on i have no clue.

[Ask April Masini]

You’re the one who’s giving her the mixed signals! 😕 If you like her and want to date her, you have to let her know how you feel. From her point of view, you just want to be friends.

If you want to ask her out on a date, then do it. When you invite her to do friend things, then that’s what she’s going to come away with — a friend vibe. If she likes you, and all she thinks you want is to be friends, then that’s how she’s going to respond to you, so as not to get hurt.

Date Out of Your League [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url] is a book I’ve written for men who want to get the girl, and are confused — just like you are. I think you’ll benefit a lot more from this book than from anything I can post in this short space. You’ll get lots of tips and advice on behavior you can employ to let her know you’re interested, and to figure out what she means by her body language, and her verbal responses. You’ll also read about what woman want in a man — and I think you’ll be surprised!

So for now, buy the book ($14.95 is a very reasonable price to learn how to achieve success with women — in fact, it’s a steal!), and read it. Then invite your friend out for a real date, in which she understands your intentions. This will give her the opportunity to express her feelings through her behavior, and if you’re both compatible and interested in exploring what there is between the two of you, you’ll be on the[b] right[/b] road to a romance. 🙂

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