[Anonymous]

Hi,
I really just need some honest oppinions about the situation that I have gotten myself into. I have been dating this guy for a little over a year now and its been the longest relationship that I have ever found myself in. (Sad? yes, but true) He’s a super sweet guy and beats any other looser I have ever been with hands down. He has never degrated me or been disrepectful. We can talk for hours about nothing at all and are good friend. That is something that I have never had before. Even though we can talk for hours our conversations never really touch on any issue that may pop up in any relationship. He seemed to fall off the face of the earth about a month ago. He never really called or texted or anything really. I started to get frustrated and flat out told him if he didn’t want to see me then he should at least tell me so. After he said he was sorry for the way he had been acting and he wasn’t sure what was wrong. He said we should get together and talk and I was getting tired of being the one who was always trying to make plans, so I told him to tell me when he wanted to do that. Three days later I saw him and he seemed happy to see me, but never really said what was going on. I think he maybe depressed about something, but I don’t know what. He’s been calling and texting, but I haven’t seen him in two weeks and I have no idea what to do. Should I contiue to make an effort to see him or just leave the ball in his court? At this point in time I have no idea if I can even still call him my boyfriend. I love him very much, but I just don’t want to hang around if I am not what he wants. Should I just go and try to talk to him?

[Seet elf]

Hello,

I think he might be having some problems or going through some bad or doubtful times. Its easy for us girls to talk about our problems, fear wishes but many guys prefer to do the thinking and problem solving alone.

I think you should give him some time first, maybe he’ll figure out what he really wants by putting some distance. Try not contact him and not make the first move for one or two weeks.
If he doesn’t explain himself till then, do try to have a serious talk with him: like is he bothered about you and him or its something else, or is there something he wants to tell you, what he’s expecting from you, etc.
Have faith and remain calm, i hope he soon explains himself.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He’s definitely acting strange since this seems like new behavior after a year of dating. Rather than getting angry at him, ask him what’s wrong. Tell him how odd it is that he hasn’t been around since that’s not the norm, and ask him if something has happened in his life. If he’s not willing to open up to you, then that’s something you should know about. Relationships are ways to get to know people and to decide if you want to continue, commit further and deeper, or end them.

I liked the advice [b]Seet elf[/b] gave you about backing off and not being the instigator in dates and phone calls. A man’s behavior is how you can tell where you stand, and if he’s not going to contact or date you any more, this isn’t a relationship worth pursuing.

See what happens when you back off, and you’ll have your answer as to whether this relationship has hit a bump — or a wall.

I hope that helps. Let me know what happens — and follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter, and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

I’ll give him some more time, but I’m starting to have my doubts about all of it. 😕 I just don’t know how to feel about this anymore. I’m just going to try and keep myself as busy as possible for awhile and try not to think about it so much. Just makes me sad…I really thought I had found a good one this time around…… Thanks for your help.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

While you’re giving yourself space — and him, too — consider reading Think & Date Like A Man, a book I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right. It will give you tips and advice on finding men who are, as you put it, the good ones, and leaving the losers behind. Here’s the link where you can buy it as an automatic download: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] or you can purchase it on the websites for Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.

I hope that helps — and join me on Facebook [url][/url], and follow me on Twitter @AskAprilcom.

[Member]

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