[samusaran253]

About two months ago my closest and oldest friend, whom I’ve known for over 5 years, met her biological mother for the first time. About half a month after that she broke up with her boyfriend and moved in with her biological mom in another state. She then ran off with another guy, who she had sex with a few months before (she told me), back when her boyfriend and her temporarily broke up. The guy she ran off with was also her boyfriend for her sophomore year of high school, but that was many years ago.

So, she moved in with her bio mom for a bit, and there was some confusion as to what was going on, so I called her to see if she was okay. We talked for a long while, she told me everything and why she did what she did, and told me that she’s glad she’s had me as a friend through everything. A few days later she then told me and all of her other friends that she was going to start her life over and that she didn’t want anyone or anything from her old life anymore. So she created a new Facebook, blocked everyone (including me and her ex-boyfriend), and got a new cell phone.

Now today she just came flying back into my life all of a sudden. Or rather, she flew back into her ex-boyfriend’s life again, the one she had been living with for over two years. So he broke up with his new girlfriend and got back with her. But guess what, she won’t talk to me. She didn’t unblock me on Facebook. After everything I’ve done for her, I was always the one who was there for her whenever she needed help or advice. I was the one who was the one who offered her a place to stay when nobody else would, without questioning her. I was the one who supported her for the last several years and was her best friend. I was the one who accepted her with open arms and didn’t think of her any differently when she told me about the sexual fetishes she’s into. I did everything for this woman, and she won’t even give me the time of day.

I feel like I’ve been used, played, disrespected, abandoned, and betrayed. I’ve always been a good friend and always been the one she’d talk to. We were never lovers, we never even dated, but she’s treating me like I was some crazy ex-boyfriend who is better off not being in her life. Sometimes I don’t understand women, I really don’t. Could someone please give me some advice on what to do.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like your friend is going through some personal upset that started when she met her biological mother, and she’s acting out on her feelings. She’s dumped you for some reason that doesn’t make sense to you, and there’s no way you’re going to get inside her head and figure out or fix whatever it is that’s bothering her.

The best thing you can do is to protect yourself and try to move on. When a friend dumps you it’s just like being dumped by a boyfriend, even though the relationship was different. The bottom line is that you still had a relationship with her, albeit a friendship.

Instead of pining for the five year friendship that seems to be over for now, my advice is to foster and nurture the friendships you have with people who are there for you and who want to be with you. Life is full of curve balls, so play the game the best you can with what you’ve got — in this case, your resilience and other healthy people in your life.

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

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