[enero1876]

I have been dating a man for over year, most of it was long distance with the last 4 months of us both living in the same city (not together). Things seem great but we have never really had the talk about the status of our relationship. We spend most of our time together and I have met his friends and vice versa. We are going to his hometown soon and I am meeting his dad. Of course he told his dad I am his friend which is confusing as I feel meeting parents is serious? I guess I am wondering where we stand and if I should just ask him what he means by “friend”. I am just wondering if we are serious are not and how to best approach the subject…seems silly since we are both over 30 . I am also meeting his mom when she comes out this summer and going to a family wedding as well so it seems serious? A little background on him is that he is divorced and was with his ex since college and so essentially I am the second adult relationship he has had. He asked for the divorce and it did end amicably so that make me feel good that there is no bitterness there. I am trying to be patient as I know he is figuring the dating world out and he doesn’t want to hurt me in anyway. I am not in a rush to be married but more so just want to know how to bring this up without freaking him out. I really care about him and just want clarification so I know where I stand. We haven’t said we have loved each other and to be honest I do love him but a little afraid to say it. sorry this is so rambling and all over the place

Thank you in advance

[kai]

Hi, I notice that you have placed your question in the forum for Guest Writers and Advice Column Contributors.

This is not in the forum where April answers readers questions.

If you want to get a response from April, please repost your question in the Relationship Advice: Q & A Advice Forum with Relationship Expert April Masini.

Here’s the link:
https://www.askapril.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=1

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Soban rai]

At the age of 30, when you take someone to your hometown to meet your father, they aren’t just a friend. This man is simply playing it safe. By using the ‘friend’ label, he is dodging all responsibility so that if he decides to walk away tomorrow, he can claim, ‘I told you from the start we were just friends.
If a man cannot stand in front of his father and say, This is my girlfriend, then he is simply not ready to settle down yet. you needs to have the Talk before attending that wedding; otherwise, he will remain just a ‘plus one’ rather than a partner

[Member]

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