[cobia777]

Ive been with my man for about 3 years. When we got together he was about 250 lbs and was working on losing weight. I didnt find the sex to be sexy (sweat, stopping often) but he preformed and with weight loss it would get better. Outside of this my man is successful (we are partners in a business) and basically worships the ground I walk on. He’s a good man. But, through the time we’ve been together our sex life fell apart. He has consistently been 300 lbs or often up to 350 lbs. The sex sucks, but hes constantly bugging me for it. To top it off he had stopped smoking when we got together but started again. Smoking is my biggest turn off and it made him not be able to preform. He used to be an admitted sex addict and would masturbate next to me in the bed if I didnt put out…it was just weird. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. He was 340 lbs. When we have sex he’s sweaty so much so I am grossed out. He can only do 2-3 positions and has to start and stop constantly. Half the time he loses it and wants to me take care of him other other ways. He had stopped smoking a few months back, but I knew that he smoked every once in a while b/c he stinks of it. I found cigarettes in his truck about a month ago. I had enough. I finally just told him I was turned off. Stop bothering me for sex if you wont commit to doing what it takes to preform and what it takes for me to be attracted to you. I got mad. I paid about $3500 for trainers, gym memberships, counselors, dieticians, exercise equipment for home…I was just over it. About a month ago he said he changed and really wanted to stick with it. I support him. But he says its my job to keep having sex with him. I have a few times and every time its awful. I think my otherwise good relationship is about to be over and I am very upset. We have a successful business, a friendship, a doting husband….and a horrible sex life. HELP!

[Ask April Masini]

If you marry someone who’s obese, and three years later he’s still obese, I’m not sure you had realistic expectations that he’d somehow not be obese one day. 😳 In fact, it’s pretty clear he’s not going to change his behavior, and some of it has gotten worse.

You have a tough choice in front of you. You can continue your marriage as a business partnership and friendship or you can decide you’ve made a mistake because you actually want a sex life and a healthy man for a husband, and divorce and find someone better for yourself.

But he isn’t going to change — that much is clear from what you’ve written.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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