[Vero102509]

My co worker and I had a brief relationship. Starting off as friends lead to more while he was seperated from his wife and told me he was grtting a divorce. After 6 months he got back together with her and I was left heart broken. It’s been 6 months and I still miss him dearly. We went from best friends to awkward and are now barely talking as co workers only again. We work in the same office and must have interactiins everyday.But I want to tell him everyday how much I miss him??

[AskApril Masini]

You took two risks at once — and unfortunately, neither one paid off. 😳 First, office relationships are risky because when things don’t work out, you have to see the person every day. 😕 I know it’s awkward, but since you’re both in the same office, try and stay busy and focus on your life outside of the office, as well as the actual work in it. And second, remember that when you get involved with someone who is married, there’s always the chance you’re their rebound person or their distraction from marital problems. It sounds like he’s worked things out with his wife and now, it’s best for you to accept the disappointment and move on to focus on meeting new people to date so you don’t get stuck in an emotional rut pining over lost love. 😉

[Sally]

It’s not just a breakup it’s losing someone you saw every day, someone who used to make the whole workday feel lighter. And now you’re supposed to just smile across the office like none of it ever happened. That’s a lot to hold inside.

But here’s the hard truth you probably already know: telling him you miss him won’t bring back what you had. It’ll just reopen the wound for you. He chose his marriage, and you’re the one left trying to stitch yourself back together in the same building.

Missing him doesn’t mean you’re stuck. It just means you cared. Let yourself miss him quietly without turning it into a conversation he can’t give you anything from.
With time, the ache softens. It really does. For now, just focus on getting through each day without adding another layer of hurt.

[Tara]

You’re clinging to a ghost, not a man. He made his choice the moment he ran back to his wife and left you standing there holding the emotional debris. And the fact that you’re still fantasizing about pouring your heart out to someone who already proved you’re optional is exactly why you’re stuck. He’s not missing you. He’s not losing sleep. He’s showing up to work every day perfectly comfortable, while you’re torturing yourself like it’s some tragic love story instead of what it actually is: a man who used you for comfort during his marital meltdown and then retreated to his real life the second it suited him.

Every time you think about telling him you miss him, understand this: you’re not fighting for love, you’re begging for scraps. He’s not your “best friend” anymore because he never was. He was temporarily lonely, and you were convenient. That’s it. And now you’re sitting here wanting to hand him even more of your dignity, like he hasn’t already taken enough.

Stop romanticizing a man who wouldn’t choose you even when you were the easy choice. You don’t need to tell him you miss him. You need to stop humiliating yourself by holding on to someone who dropped you the second his real life reopened. Let the silence stay silent. It’s the only shred of power you have left.

[Member]

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