[J-S28]

Hi April, SORRY FOR THE HUGE ESSAY, BUT IT’S A LONG LONG STORY…

Having a bit of confusion right now over the girl who was my first love, basically it all began when we met about 12 years ago. I was 16 at the time. She jsut so happened to be the sister of my best friend at the time, which made things difficult, my friend constantly told his sister that she couldn’t date me. So it kind of ruled it out! Anyway, I ended up ending my friendship with my then friend and never had contact with him or her again. But she would still from time to time cross my mind and I wondered what had happened to her after all this time, so I decided to send her a text on the off chance she still had the same number, anyway she responded and we then began to text every so often. I tried to suggest coffee but she didn;t seem too willing to begin with and would just dodge the question, then she suggested we meet but she was never free, few months later, she then texted me and hinted at meeting again, this time I avoided the question thinking she wasn’t serious.

Anyway, long story short, she contacted me yet again two weeks ago and wanted to meet, so we arranged it much to my suprise and met up, I went along and didn’t expect much from it. But within ten minutes it was clear we still had a huge connection and I was thinking this was a great move, that was until I discovered she had a boyfriend and had been with him for six years, turns out though she dosen’t want to marry him or have kids with him or even live with him.

we had a fantastic meet, we couldn’t stop staring at each other and laughing, we nearly kissed, it was amazing despite knowing she had a boyfriend, we have texted since and we texted alot just after the meet and she was keen to meet again. Suddenly though, she has gone completely cold and stopped responding to my texts, I haven;t text her for a week now after her last no response.

So now, I’m left in a weird situation, a ton of feelings have been reborn after many years and I really want closure again.

I have sent her a jokey message today asking her if ‘shes still alive’, seeing as shes gone so silent on me.. should I not contact again? I am thinking I might just say farewell to her if she does not respond again. would this be the right course of action?

If you have any insight on what could be going through her head?

Thanks in advance!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Dating is competitive. And if you don’t get in the game, there’s no chance you’ll win it. 😉 Twelve years ago, her brother said you couldn’t date her — which you took at face value. There’s an argument to be made that it wasn’t his call to make, and perhaps you should have asked her out anyway, but bro-code etc. I get it. [i]However[/i], now here you are again, interested in her, and she’s not married. Are you going to let the fear of competition stop you this time? My advice is to ask her out on a date. If she says no, and the reason is that she has a boyfriend, you’re not much worse off than you are now — in fact, you’re better off because you’ll have a solid answer instead of a giant sense of wonderment. My advice is to compete for her. You’ll never know if you don’t try! 🙂 Living with regrets is way worse than possible rejection.

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