[Ella84]

It wasn’t a dating website, we got to know eachother on a forum. Then he asked if I’m on any instant message apps like Viber, Skype, etc. So soon we started chatting out of the forum, we shared pictures and videos. something funny about it is that I still don’t have his email address and all I have is just a skype id! once I asked for it but he ignored.
He lives in the USA and I in Asia. I don’t know much about American culture but I’ve seen lots of American movies and TV series. However, this guy’s life is a bit different than what I thought of an American. That’s why I feel there is something wrong about him and it’s hard to trust. Now I wanna check if I’m right to have such feeling or not. first of all, he said he is Christian and because of being so religious he doesn’t drink and he’s never had sex! he says he doesn’t even know much about these stuff! he said he was brought up like this and his mum never let him to take any girls home while he was at highschool. besides he believes that he should keep it for his wife and so on. this is while he is in his mid 30s! As I’m not Christian I don’t have much information about it, sorry if I’m asking but does such strict rules (like not having sex before marriage) exist in Christianity?
another thing is that every now and then he disappears for a few days saying he was on a business trip but I think nowadays having access to the internet is not a problem in a developed country like the US!
he says that he likes me and wants to meet me in person. he suggested we meet in Europe but I refused, he thought it’s the money so he offered to pay for my ticket. I explained to him that it’s hard to trust people over the internet but he said he is going to meet me in my hometown. He is so calm and kind. In general, he seems like a nice guy and to be honest I have a crush on him, I can’t get him out of my mind, he is somehow important to me that I bothered to write this post. but on the other hand I’m such a cautious person who can’t trust people easily. Am I too pessimist or is this guy really weird?
btw I’m 30.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Trust your instincts. 😉

It doesn’t sound like this relationship has a lot of promise, and at age 30, it’s probably a good idea to figure out if you want a serious, committed, romantic relationship — or just to play the field, because if it’s the former, this guy doesn’t sound like a good match or object of your time and energy. 😕 There are all types of people in the world, but it isn’t “the norm” to find a man in his mid-30s who hasn’t had sex because of his religion. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen — because it does — but it’s just not very common. You have to also understand that when you meet someone online, it’s very probable that he’s talking to other women, and trying to meet them the same way he is you, which might explain his disappearances for days at a time. I’m not sure how long you’ve been chatting with him online, or why you have a crush on him, given what you’ve written about him, but it really seems that if you want a serious relationship with a guy, you should look locally, and not on another continent with a guy who has some very peculiar traits. If you both adhered to religions where sex and drinking is not allowed until marriage, this might be a good match, but it sounds like it’s not going to end well and will be a waste of your energy, among other things.

Hope that helps!

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