[jumpingthespark]

I am an 18 year old girl and a senior in high school. I do still live with my parents, but I have the majority of my next five years planned out. I’ve applied at and been accepted to a big university a few hours from home and I’ve chosen my major. My boyfriend of over a year attends the college I am going to and is a big part of my life. We are seriously committed. We have the promise rings and have talked about marriage and the future. With us, everything just clicked. I know I am young, but I believe I have found my soul mate. I’ve never met anyone who had such an effect on me as he does. Ever since the first day I met him, things just kind of fell into place and things between us happened pretty quickly.

At first my parents were pretty easy going, but as time went on they have given us some unreasonable rules. Their main concern is that we are going to have sex. I’m not going to lie. We’ve been having sex for at least four months now. He was my first and hopefully my last. In our short time together we have been through so much. I am a type one diabetic and my boyfriend witnessed me having a seizure in my kitchen (complete with collapsing and twitching and turning greyish green) and he stood by me even through that. He has tried so hard to learn about my health and is the reason I am alive right now. He honestly gave me a reason to take care of myself.

Besides my health, he has done so much for me. He walked two miles through flood waters just to see me after being separated for over a week just because he missed me that much. He is always helping my family in anyway he can. He is the single most loyal and caring person I have ever known and my parents take advantage of him and treat him like garbage every time he is around. They are always starting fights with us and they don’t care about how it is affecting us. They have brought him to tears on many occasions. He has tolerated alot with them but now he is starting to get fed up and I am feeling the affects of it.

I am afraid that I am losing him. What do I do? 🙁

[Ask April Masini]

The first thing you need to do is understand the reality: your parents don’t like you dating your boyfriend. You’ve obviously tried to change their minds and to stand up to them, and it hasn’t worked. Stop banging your head against the wall.

Since you are a high school senior with plans for college and your future together with your boyfriend, and you’re still living in your parents home, don’t bring your boyfriend around. You can date him at other places, but since you live with your parents, you need to respect their home. When you have your own place where you pay the rent, then you can have him come over as often as you like, but for now, you need to meet him elsewhere.

Don’t bring up things that will create fights with you and your parents. Keep your relationship with your boyfriend private — but not secret. It sounds like his being reduced to tears was a result of unrealistic expectations by everyone involved.

Keep the peace with your parents, but don’t expect them to change overnight and suddenly like him. See him out of their home so that you’re not disrespecting them.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go — and join me on Facebook at this link: [url][/url], and @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

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