[razer56]

I met this girl last year, and she was really into me. She became my best friend and we became closer. I was really nice to her. I was also there whenever she needed me. We talked about dating, and well we were going to, but then she thought I was flirting with a girl on Facebook when I wasn’t. She argued with me, and told me that it was over. I desperately told her it was nothing. When she asked for space, I couldn’t help but talk to her because I missed her. After a week, we became cool. She told me that she couldn’t date me cause of her parents (Her parents are racist, and won’t let her date a non white guy). I told her that I would wait for her. She started talking to her ex again, and we argued again and again for the next months. She then dated another guy for 5 months. She stopped texting me during those months. Her and her boyfriend would kiss in front of me and that hurt so bad. Eventually they broke up. She started texting me again, she was really close. She again told me that she would date me, but her parents don’t let her. After 3 months, I started falling for her again. I told her that I still liked her. She told me that she didn’t feel the same way, and that I should find another girl. She tweeted on Twitter “I can’t have a guy best friend without them liking me” After 2 months, she started getting closer to me. Flirting with me a lot, getting jealous of who I hung out with, etc. But this was an on and off situation. Some days she’d be like that, some days she just didn’t want to talk to me. I sent her a big sweet message 3 weeks ago, and she replied saying that it made her day and it was really sweet. I send her a sweet message last night, and she doesn’t even reply! 3 days ago, she was telling me how she couldn’t wait till she hung out with me when I returned back from my vacation. 5 days ago, she was super close. She said that she missed me, and flirted with me a lot, turned out she was talking to someone but she isn’t talking to him now because he already has a girl now. Guys people help me, I love her with all my heart! She’s all I think about it..I really am nice to her, I compliment her on a daily basis. We talk everyday as well, but right now i’m trying to not talk to her so she can miss me maybe? But please help!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

She’s made it very clear she won’t date you. 😳 I’m not sure why you won’t accept that, but your problem here isn’t her — it’s that you won’t move on. Once you have, you’ll look back and wonder why you stayed in this friend zone for so long. 🙁 My advice is to find someone who will date you! 😉 Rejection is a gift because it sets you free from someone who’s incompatible and allows you to find someone who is. 🙂

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[razer56]

I’ve been struggling to move on, because there are days where you’d think me and her are dating! She flirts with me, and touches me, not only that but during text conversations I will flirt with her, and she’ll accept and flirt back. She gets jealous some days when I talk about a girl, other days she doesn’t care and doesn’t flirt at all. She told my best friend that she can’t date me because of her parents…but i’m just like why did you lead me on last year? She thinks i’m cute and handsome..and I just, I really don’t know. Whenever we argue, she’s scared to lose me. She tells me that me and her will get “married” and what not, but i’m just like then why don’t you date me?? I really love her, and I just can’t stop thinking about her..

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[b]You[/b] are responsible for your own behavior, and if you want to move on, you can. It’s your choice, and you’re not a victim. 😉 Unless…. you continue doing what you’re doing. 😳 If you blame her for flirting with you, or if you blame her for your staying in this situation — you’re making excuses for yourself. 😉

Remember: If someone you’re interested in won’t date you, then it’s up to you to move on. If you don’t, you won’t get over her and you won’t be able to meet anyone else. I know it’s difficult, but that’s because you continue engaging with her even after she’s told you she won’t date you.

The choice is yours. My advice is to stop your contact with her and find someone who is interested in dating you — not just flirting with you. You’ll be a lot happier! 😀

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[razer56]

Hmm, I’m going to try to move on. But I can’t just stop contact with her, because she’s a great best friend. She’s been there for me ever since I met her, we may argue but we always know we both care for each other at the end. Not on relationship terms, but friendship terms. I know i’m in the friendzone, but is there a way that I can move on without destroying my friendship with her?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

No.

Except that you’re not really destroying a friendship because you don’t have a real friendship. Men and women never do. One person always wants more at a certain point — and this creates dishonesty — and it also keeps you from wanting the best for her — for instance, when she thought you were flirting with another woman on Facebook, she got angry, but a real friend would have wanted you to have a girlfriend, and a real friend would have encouraged the flirting. See what I mean? 😉

In addition, this isn’t someone you’ve known for your whole life, or even for a decade of it — it’s a woman you met a year ago, so if you want to get out of the friend zone, stop being her friend. 😉 It’s that simple — and I know, it’s that difficult, too.

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