[Anonymous]

i’m a 21 years old girl.i met a guy about 7 months back.he was really nice and good hearted and used to treat me very nicely.we became really close within a short period of time.we used to talk on the phone the whole night.He used to show me that he was really really interested in me.He used to propose me several times but i didn’t care about him much.we continued meeting and talking to each other.He wanted to meet me like every single day but i refused to meet him like everyday and we used to meet atleast once a week and talk on the phone on regular basis.slowly, i also started falling for him and then i told him but he didn’t say anything.later, i found out from my frens and my own sister that he has a girlfren with whom he was in a relationship since 2 years.after finding out the truth i asked him if it was true and then he agreed and cried saying that he’d leave her pretty soon cos he loved me very much.so, i continued talking with him.but, months passed by and he didn’t leave her.when i asked him if he was going to leave his girlfren or not, he told me that he can’t leave his girlfren because she loves him very much.then, i told himthat he’s playing with me since he already has a girlfren and doesn’t leave her as well as me.he wants both of us to be with him forever.he says that he loves me very much and i know its true.when i stop talking with him he acts so crazy and cries and hurts himself.if he loves me that much why doesn’t he leave his girlfren?i don’t think he’s going to leave his girlfren ever.he tells me that he’ll marry me and not her but he doesn’t want to leave her right now cos she loves him very much.please, help me.what should i do? to choose between her and me.he said that he can’t choose in between me nd her.he cried a lot so i continued talking with him.we agreed that we’d jus be frens and act accordingly but he kept on saying that he loves me and all those lovey-dovey stuffs.he was very possessive about me and did’t like me talking with other guys.i left my male frens cos he didn’t like it.my girlfrens and sister wants me to stay away from him cos they think

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m sorry you’re sad. Your boyfriend has a girlfriend other than you — and that’s just the one that you know about. I’m thinking there may be other women, too. He’s never going to give her up. If he wanted to he would have already. He will continue to cry and see both of you and create drama.

My advice to you is to cut yourself off from him. He’s never going to make you his one and only girlfriend, and being his friend is never going to be enough for him. You’ll never feel safe or cherished with this guy — so find a man who WILL make you feel that way. As long as you’re encumbered with this guy, you’re not free to find someone else — or to be found!

It’s time to move on. I hope that helps. Let me know how things go. And join me on Twitter @AskAprilcom (no dot) and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Sweetie…you’re still young. I’m almost 30, and I have known a handful of friends that get in relationships with men (and either know at the beginning or find out once they catch feelings) that they are married or in a long term relationship. While this guy isn’t married, everything you said sounds like the same story. These friends tell me verbatum the same things that you are saying this guy says to you.

There are 4 ways this situation can go: 1) Stays with his gf and you leave him alone 2) Stays with his gf and keeps you on the side 3)Stays with his gf and has another girl on the side (not you) 4) Leaves his gf….

While chances are that he’s insecure, that’s why he needs to keep you around (as a back-up), but best case scenario – he leaves his gf (and possibly decides to be with you)….and this is a VERRRRRRYYYY slim option – but if it does happen – chances are – he will do the same thing to you – because he doesn’t respect you – and that’s clear – and as harsh as it sounds – he doesn’t love you. If he did, he would have ended it with her IMMEDIATELY and been exclusive with you. Once there is no respect left for someone, it’s very difficult to earn that back.

You are just setting yourself up for disappointment and while it’s your choice – I can tell you from experience in my own life (and in multiple friends lives) that this story is the same beginning as many and the ending will most likely happen the same. I have a friend waiting for a man for the past 10 yrs (and a baby later with him) to get out of his relationship – saying the same things to her as this man said to you. Now she is 30 wondering what happened to her 20s – missing out on so many guys and so many opportunities – all for someone who had no love and no respect. Good luck with everything, but there are plenty of guys out there that will want to be with you – and you should enjoy being young and figuring out what you want – not waiting on someone who isn’t worth it!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This [b]guest[/b] gave you very good advice. I, for one, hope you don’t think you’re in Vegas and gamble on the long shot. Odds are he’s never going to leave his girlfriend for you. 🙁 Wipe your tears and start a new day with a new outlook. It’s time for you to find Mr. Right and dump this Mr Wrong.

I hope that helps!

Please follow me on Twitter @AskAprilcom (no dot!). You can also join me at AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

thank you so much.i feel much better now.i’ll try to stay away from him.. i know it’d be very difficult for me to do this but still i know that i’m gonna b hurt one day if not today so i’ll accept this thing and try to move on.thank you once again 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m glad I could help. I know this is hard, but you’re going to feel much better if you find Mr. Right. Why don’t you use this dating lull in your life to read Think & Date Like A Man? This is a book I’ve written for women who want to find, get — and keep Mr. Right. It will help guide you a lot. Here’s the link where you can buy it: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. You can also get it online at Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.

And follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter as well as on Facebook. You’ll do well with more communication from me and all my friends on these sites! Here’s the Facebook link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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