[ANK]

Hi

This is the first time I am writing here. I am in a relationship for 6 years now and I have known my guy for 10 years. He has always been very possessive about me. I understand that. Things like don’t talk to this guy are common. It does get hard sometimes , but I manage. I have stopped talking to every guy he dsnt want me to. I have never been intrested in any other man ever and he knows that. We have had our rough times. Long distance relationship, everything. But since recently, we have worked togther and things have been normal between us. We both have tried hard and things are good. But few days back, he told me that he have taken out my phone details earlier to see what am I doing and am I talking to some guy he dsnt want me too. He said he is sorry and won;t do that again.
I accepted it and forgot about it. But yesterday, I was going through his email account and found a email account which I dnt knew existed. It was his account. When I started searching it ou, I came to know that it was a proxy account of my main email account. He created a proxy account of my main email id more than a year ago. I asked him and he said it was a act of anger and he was ashamed to tel me. but he was using it everyday. Dispite of the fact that he have passwords of all my ids. Still, he said he was ashamed but he was using it since always and would have never told me if I would’nt have found out.
In fact I found out he have some email ids I dnt knew existed, he explained why he created them. I believe him for that reason but I am so confused an in what to do now. I know he loves me a lot, but what shall I do. After I confronted him, earlier he was sorry n apologized many times, but I was angry and than now he has turned hostile and behaving like I have made some mistake. I know he has got into defensive mode and protecting himself. but what shall I do. What does this mean. Is this a healthy relationship? How shall I talk to him. I want to marry him and so do he but I dont think we can have a normal life like this. What shall I do. Please help me understand this.

Thank you
ANK

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Your boyfriend is dishonest and sneaky. Why on earth do you want to marry someone who not only breaks into your e-mail, but creates a proxy account of your e-mail? 😯 Then, he was immature enough to blame YOU for figuring out what he’s been doing. His jealousy issues and demands are his way of controlling you so he can manage his fears and insecurities. This is not a healthy guy.

I know you think you love him, but I’d suggest you re-examine what love is. It’s easy to love someone who is damaged or troubled, but it doesn’t mean you should spend time with them and it certainly doesn’t mean you should marry them.

It’s time for you to move on and find a man who has a good character, above all else. 😉

[Member]

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