[starbaby911]

I am in a really weird situation. I am going through a divorce because my soon-to-be ex-husband did something illegal and I can’t expose my kids to that type of life. He is going to probably have criminal charges and all. Because we have two kids together, we have to maintain some type of contact regularly and the visits he has with the kids are supervised by me. We had a decent enough relationship for the last 8+ years and were married for over six years. The problem is, after having kids, my body isn’t what it used to be and neither is my confidence. I am working on loosing weight and feeling better about myself, but i have rather high sexual urges that need to be satisfied. I don’t have time or desire to find a boyfriend, and “handling it myself” is getting old. He has offered many times to “take care of me” in this department, but i feel extreamly conflicted. I have never been as attracted to anyone as i have been, and still am, attracted to him. I don’t think it is a good idea, but i am highly tempted to take him up on his offer. He swears that there would be no strings attached and that when he finds someone or when i find someone, I will be informed right away. What is your advice?

[starbaby911]

oh.. and i should add that i really hate him right now for ruining a perfect life for me and my kids, but still, for some weird reason, miss him and miss the intimacy of our relationship….

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Don’t do it. Here are the reasons:

1. He’s a criminal. Reduce your relationship to the bare, necessary minimum.

2. It’s almost impossible for a woman to have a no strings attached relationship with a man she is having sex with. You will get emotionally involved if you get sexually involved.

3. This is a great time for you to look for a new boyfriend, possible second husband and step-father for your children. Use those sexual urges you’re having as a hint that you want to get out there and find Mr. Right.

4. Don’t be lazy. Dating is hard work. Being with the wrong guy is easy. Do the right thing even it takes some energy you don’t want to expend. It’s worth it in the long run!

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go.

And please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[starbaby911]

Thanks for the advise.. i think i am in complete agreement! I guess when I saw him with a hickey the other day it all became really clear to me…. We haven’t even signed the divorce papers yet and he has moved on. I guess that makes it easier for me, getting all of the emotions out now rather than later. Thanks again for the help!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m glad I could help. 😀 He’s definitely moved on and is offering you sex because guys have sex — because they can! This is your cue to move on, too!

Good luck!

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

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