[Anonymous]

I am a little confused about a woman I have seen a couple times. I met her on match and the first night we went out we got some beers, saw a movie and she kissed me, not me kissing her, she kissed me good night. We emailed back and forth several times a day and called eachother. The 2nd time we went out she invites me over to her place and we watch a movie, and the end of the night ends with a long kiss goodnight. We again email several times a day all the way up through Wednesday, where she invites me to dinner on Thursday. I accept, but due to a major snow storm, we had to postpone, that and she said she had started feeling ill, which she continued into the emails on Friday. We email back and forth on Friday and she goes to help her parents for the weekend. She sent me a single email Tuesday night saying she was busy this week with some stuff and had her brother coming into town this weekend. I emailed her back Wednesday and have no heard back, how is it that she tells me that she thinks I am a great guy to not contacting me at all?

I know she is new to the city, so to speak, and she told me she does not like dating. I really don’t know what to do, I am smitten with her, and just want to know one way or the other whether she is still interested or if I should just move on. Any advice would be much appreciated

[Mot352]

My advice is to just hang back and let her contact you next. (No matter how hard that will be!) You aren’t going to convince her to go on that dinner date by bombarding her with emails or phone calls asking why she hasn’t talked to you. It’s a little early in the process to get clingy, even if she told you how great a guy you are. Just hang back and wait for her to email YOU.

My OTHER advice is to trust your gut. If you feel like she’s avoiding you or leading you on, then you’re probably right. I don’t mean to sound cold or cynical, but dating websites are full of people who “hate dating” because they don’t like having to hurt the other persons feelings by telling them “It’s not working out”. She could’ve had a change of heart and doesn’t want to hurt you by telling you. Who knows?!

All I know is, you’re not going to get an honest answer by continually asking for one. If she’s truly into you, she’ll email you and reschedule that dinner date. If she thinks it’s not working out, you’ll have saved yourself the embarrassment of pouring your heart out to someone who doesn’t appreciate it.

The ball is in her court! Remember that.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Sorry, [b]Mot352[/b], but I have to disagree! If the [b]Guest[/b] wants this woman he’s interested in, the ball is in HIS court! From what I gather he only asked her out on one date. She asked him on the other two, and now he’s dropped the ball. 😳

I hope you’ll buy and read Date Out of Your League [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url] so you better understand how to win the dating game. Since you met on a dating website, you have to understand you have competition! You have to play to win — especially if you like this girl. Ask her out on a date! Make it a special one.

Let me know how things go — and please read the book. It will eliminate a lot of your basic questions — and then we can get to the more specific ones! 😉

Hope that helps, and that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

April,
Thank you for the response, I have actually asked her out more than once, I just have not gotten feedback one way or the other. I also know that I have a ton of competition, which is not good for me as I have never been one of the pushy variety, I am more of a guy that just goes with the flow. I am trying to show interest but not be overbearing or seem clingy, and to be honest I really have no idea how to do that since I have never really done that in the past.

I really just have no idea what to do

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Buy and read Date Out of Your League, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url], as I recommended in my last post. It’s going to help you.

After you read it, let me know how things are going (I think you’ll find an upswing! 😉 )

See you on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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