[Meg964]

I’ve been seeing this guy for just over a month now. Things seemed to be going really well, then he got distant, finally admitting he was doing that on purpose because he was moving 2.5 hours away to school. We talked about it, and ended with “we like each other, and want to see where this goes”. As the move date gets closer, he’s been getting distant again- telling me he’d see me before the long weekend (gone to BC for 8 or 9 days to see his family before his program starts), then me finding out today he’s already on his way and might not be back before he leaves. He’s looking for a place to live in before he leaves.

I’m really confused as to what’s going on. He tells me he likes me, he wants to continue seeing me, and has invited me to his new place and figuring when he can make the trip to see me. In person, he’s really sweet and attentive, but when it comes to texting- it’s one of two extremes. Very sweet, full sentences and grammar, or one word answers. I’m trying to tell myself he’s stressed because he’s moving and starting school soon and organizing a trip to see his family, and to take what he’s told me a few times (text and in person) to heart and not freak out. I don’t know what to do.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re confused because you’re expecting something you’re not getting, and the way to get unconfused is to step back and look at what’s going on before you set your expectations.

You’ve only been dating for a month, and he’s moving two and a half hours away to go to college. It’s normal for him to be preoccupied even if he was head over heels for you. I’m not sure how old you both are, or if you’re in college — but in case you’re not, someone who’s starting college, moving, and needing to find a place to live, is going to be very busy! 😉 The fact that he didn’t come home from his visit with his parents, and went straight to school to look for lodging is a clue that he’s not that into you — if he was, he’d have kept in touch and let you know. While that may be disappointing, it’s a good way to stop being confused. His behavior is going to show you what he wants from you and if he wants a relationship. When a guy’s words don’t match his behavior, trust his behavior. 😉 Frankly, he’s probably not going to be able to see you that much after he moves and starts college because of the distance, his course load, and the fact that there are a lot of single people at colleges, and the two of you only have a month of dating under your belts — it’s not the same thing as if you’d agreed to have a long distance relationship based on a year or more of having already dated and committed to each other.

I hope that helps. If you want to fill me in a little more, maybe I can help you further. 😀

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