[Ghostwriter80]

I have a female friend who I met briefly 2 years ago. I am also female. I met this girl again in the summer just passed when we were doing seasonal work. Gradually over the first couple of weeks after meeting up again, she would touch me on my backside, hug me and she was always looking into me eyes & held eye contact longer than most people. If we went for food or drinks she would pick a quiet spot saying that it was romantic. Durning the meals she would ask about my sexual experiences and relationships. People often asked if we were a couple. Over the course of these weeks, she got really drunk twice and asked me to go back to her room, which I politely refused, mainly because she had a boyfriend at the time and we were both really drunk. At the end of the season she started to speak negative about her boyfriend and said that he was boring and asked me why she was more excited to see her family than her boyfriend. I told her that only she knew the answer to that. We went back to our own cities, but spoke regularly online and arranged to meet up in her city after a few weeks. The first time we met I was speaking to a guy and it was like she was annoyed and asked me who the f**k he was, then told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend and that she didn’t want to tell me online and wanted to tell me in person. That night she introduced me to her sister and friends who told me that she spoke about me all the time. Over the winter months we have met up at least once every month for one or 2 nights and started to tell each other everytime we text that we loved each other and each time we meet up the physical contact has become more intense on her part. I feel that there is more than just friendship between us. She acts possessive over me, touches me and has a certain look in her eye that looks like love to me. She has said somethings like “she only wants my love” and “we’re in love” then plays it off as a joke. My feelings have grown strong for her and I would say say that I’m in love with her. I think she feels the same way about me too, but now I’m not so sure. Over the past month or 2 she doesn’t really make contact with me. I’m always the first one to text her. She has on occasions text me and she always responds fairly quickly to my texts. I met up with her in her city again last weekend and when we were having drinks she told me that she had met a guy. I could feel my heart break at this, so I know that I do love her. I’m not sure if she could see this in my face. She quickly said that he had a child, so she wasn’t sure what to do. She liked his personality and she wanted me to meet him to see what I thought of him. Then she continued to say that she wasn’t sure whether she was going to pursue it because she would be leaving the city to go to work for the summer season again, then asked what about me. I told her that some guy is interested in me, but I’m not interested in him and that I hoped I never fall in love again. She looked shocked and asked me why and I said because it always just ends up badly and I don’t want to get hurt again. Later that night we were in a bar with her sister and as the night went on we were getting drunker, then a guy “friend” showed up. She never told me that this guy was coming. I turned my back on them to speak with her sister and I saw her kiss this guy on the cheek. I continued to speak to her sister and it was like she was jealous. She kept slapping my backside to get my attention then calling her sister. She was getting really drunk at this point. She eventually told me to look at her and told me not to worry about that guy, he was just a friend and that she thinks he’s a little bit gay. I told her that I wasn’t bothered about him and that I was speaking to her sister because she wanted me to get to know her and that I was doing that for her. She then hugged me tight and before we broke the hug, she kissed me on my face then on the lips and told me again not to worry about that guy who was standing beside us and that she would turn lesbian for me. I was the perfect person and she really loved me and that I mustn’t ever change. After that she said that she had to go home because she was feeling drunk and I said I would go back to my hotel as it was pretty late anyway and she insisted that I stayed out with her sister then she left the bar with this guy “friend”. The next morning her words were still playing on my mind and I text her that I wanted to speak to her when we met up that night, but when it came to it I couldn’t do it as I wasn’t as brave to bring it up. I eventually found the courage to text her last night and asked her what she meant when she said that, and she says that I am a good friend, she loves me and that she has fun with me, which doesn’t quite answer the question. I didn’t want to push it, so I just replied Ok. Good. glad we cleared that up. She replied, yes, don’t worry sweetheart. Now I don’t know what to do. This is driving me insane.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’re interested in dating a woman, but you haven’t asked her out on a date, and you’re hoping that something magical will happen. The reality is that unless you make things happen, they’re probably going to continue on like this. My advice is that you ask her to go on a date with you because you’re interested in dating her. Make it clear — which is what you’ve been avoiding. If she’s interested, she’ll let you know. If not, you’ll know that, too.

Hope that helps.

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