[ChristianGirl]

A couple weeks ago, a guy I knew and kinda dated in high school messaged me out of the blue. We hadn’t talked in 6 years. We started messaging and he told me that he is working in another state. He came and visited his family a couple days after he started messaging me and we hung out. I thought it was just two friends catching up, but as we were saying bye, he kissed me. He went back to his home the next day and we’ve been talking ever since. It has been almost 3 weeks now. He calls me every other day and we talk for a couple hours each time. It seems really good, but I have no idea if he is wanting a long distance relationship or not. He keeps asking me if I’m gonna come visit him this summer, but I don’t want to make that commitment until I know we are in a relationship. How can I find out his intentions? Also, is it crazy to start a long distance relationship with him? He’s gonna be working out of state for at least another year.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like he wants a relationship, but he’s not necessarily interested in dating. My advice is that you start using boundaries. Don’t talk for hours — talk for minutes. 😉 And if he’s not asking you out on a date, there’s really no reason to talk every other day. I always advise that if you meet someone online and they don’t ask you for a date within three months of meeting, they’re not really that interested in dating — in spite of their feelings. Same goes here. Since he lives in another state, if he doesn’t ask you to go out on a date — or come visit your state to take you out — within three months, then I suggest you move on. He may be nice, but if he’s not interested in dating, you’re going to feel like you’re in a relationship and pass up real opportunities because of that.

[pamelaqualls]

Keeping up a long distance relationship is complicated. Ask him what his future plans are and tell him your thoughts about long distance relationships. It is really important for partners having same opinions and for durable relationship.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good advice!

[Member]

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