[kamausma]

I have been with my current boyriend for 5 months. We have broken up once already for about two weeks. While we were apart he said he did it for closure with his ex. We got back together and things were going great. I then ran into some financial difficulties and was going to move from my home into an apartment; he then asked me to move in with him. Now I have 3 children ages of 2, 7 and 9. I told him this would be completly different from just datin gme and it would take some time to adjust to not just him being in the home if we did. I did move in and then the other day we had an argument about how my children and I are trying to fit his life and he is not doing anythin to accomodate us. He then yesterday told me that he is selfish and he doesn’t think that he could have us here or even be with me in the future because of my kids, even though they are gone 2 weeks of the month at their fathers; he wants all of my attention and is jealous that when they are here for an hour and a half a day he isn’t my sole responsibility. The thing is I love this man and my kids and he knows what my choice would be if he ever asked me to choose. But I am wanting to work on this and show him that only two weeks of us living here while unpacking and work changes that the stresses we are experiencing may not be there later. Especially since the kids will start being with dad once the school year starts per our custody agreement. What advice can you give me?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You made a huge mistake by moving your children into a boyfriend’s house when you’ve only dated him for 5 months, during which time he broke up with you to get back with his ex “for closure”. 😕 Dating as a single parent is a LOT different than dating as a person with no children. You come second to the children. It’s not fair for you to drag the kids through this kind of situation, so fix it and do damage control. Move out of his house and focus on the kids (they’ll probably have some adjustment issues) transitioning. Then, consider finding someone to date who has “matching luggage” in the social and economic departments — in other words, a guy who’s also a single parent who understands better what it’s like to date and marry a single mother with three kids.

[Member]

Posts