[Valdcos1987]

Hi,

A Guy proposed me 4 years ago. I was in college back then. I declined the proposal as I thought it would be a fling. A few months back he sent me a request on social networking site & we are chatting ever since. We talk all general stuff like life, career, sometimes personal stuff and mostly he talks alot about himself, like trying to impress me and all that. We had planned a meetup too, he was very much behind me that I want to meet you once. I agreed after much resentment, but he cancelled the plan at the last minute when we were about to meet. The same was rescheduled for a later date, and again he cancelled it at the last moment. Now, he does not chat much with me. In the beginning, he used to text me every now & then, irrespective of whether I replied or not. Now it is just like, one message in a while. He asked me my cell no. a few times, but I ignored it. I am like used to talking to him, and miss the TALK alot. I really don’t know whether I miss the TALK or HIM, think about him every now and then. I have never been in a relation before. I cannot decide whether he is serious about me. Should I continue talking to him or stop! What should I do? Please Suggest!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

When you say that a guy proposed to you back in college — do you mean he proposed marriage? Or do you mean he asked you out on a date?

[Valdcos1987]

Proposed as in for a boyfriend-girlfriend relation, like dating and all that. Apologies for not being clear.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Thank you for the clarification. That helps! 🙂

So, if he asked you for your cell phone number several times, and you ignored him and didn’t give him your number, he probably felt rejected and that you weren’t that into him. That may be why he’s cooled down. He figured you weren’t interested in moving the relationship forward, or else you would have given him your phone number.

If you like him, and want him to ask you out on a date, you have to let him know, and there are a few ways to do this. You can flirt with him. If he asks for your number, you can give it to him, and you can compliment him and let him know you enjoy talking to him. Guys want a little encouragement in order not to be rejected, and they’re sensitive. 😉

The best way you can figure out if you miss talking to him or you miss him, is to explore the relationship a little and press forward so he will ask you out. You can date him to figure out if you like him in a dating relationship beyond just talking on the internet.

I hope that helps. Let me know if you have any other questions. 🙂

[Valdcos1987]

Hi April,

Thanks So Much for the Advice. I gave him my number & he is back to normal now. That was the only problem here. 🙂 Thanks once again!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome!

[Valdcos1987]

Hi April,

I went for a movie with the same guy. We both were shy and nervous, but yet we talked to each other before and after the movie. Everything seemed normal though. He even sent me text after reaching home & we chatted for some time. The next day, as usual he sent me good morning & after that there were no texts from him at all. Two three days later I sent him a text whether everything is alright, he replied that he is sick. Before. even if he was sick he used to chat with me for hours & He was regular in texting since I gave him my number. After that, I sent him texts regularly for two to three days asking about his health. At times he did not reply even on seeing the messages. Out of Curiosity, I asked him once that was he angry or upset at me over something. He replied saying that he was busy and now he is free for a week. Yet he did not text me during that one week. I stopped texting him after that. This Sunday, he asked me for another movie. I had already seen this one, so I told him the same. I really cannot understand what’s going on. Even though he is online, He’s not texting , not even a Hi, it hurts. 🙁 What must I do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He asked you out and you said no. 🙁 If you really wanted to date him, you could have told him that you’ve already seen the movie, but you’d love to see it again, just to have the chance to be with him. 😎 I think that by just telling him you’d already seen the movie, you rejected him and he’s not getting the encouragement he needs. Try flirting with him if he contacts you again. Make him feel good about his contact with you. That’s what keeps a guy coming back. 😉

[Sally]

When someone comes back after years, it stirs up curiosity and what-ifs, especially when you’ve never really been in a relationship before. Missing the talking doesn’t automatically mean you miss him. Sometimes it just means he filled a quiet space in your day.

What matters is his behavior. Cancelling twice at the last minute, pulling back, and keeping things mostly online isn’t someone moving forward. It’s someone who likes the attention but not the follow-through. That’s confusing on purpose or by habit, but either way it leaves you hanging.

If you keep talking to him, expect more of the same. If that already hurts, it’s okay to step back. You don’t owe anyone access just because they once showed interest. Trust how uneven this already feels.

[Serena Vale]

This isn’t about mixed signals. It’s about missed encouragement.

He likes you, but he’s cautious and a bit insecure. When you didn’t give your number before, when he canceled plans, when you said no to the movie, to him, those felt like quiet rejections. So he pulls back to protect himself.

Men usually don’t keep chasing when they’re unsure they’re wanted.

If you want this to move forward, you have to be warmer and clearer. Flirt a little. If he asks you out again, say yes, even if it’s not the perfect plan. Let him feel welcomed, not tested.

If you don’t want to keep doing that, then step back and accept that this will stay inconsistent.

You’re not wrong for feeling hurt, but he won’t guess your interest. You have to show it.

[Tara]

This man is not serious, not interested in anything real, and not worth another second of your mental energy. He proposed years ago, got rejected, came back when his ego needed validation, talked endlessly about himself to feel important, chased a meetup to feel wanted, then bailed twice because fantasy is easy and effort is not. Men who cancel last minute twice aren’t “busy” they’re cowards who enjoy attention without responsibility. The moment you stopped feeding him easy access by ignoring the phone number request, his interest dropped because the game stopped being convenient. That’s not romance; that’s a bored man fishing for relevance.

You don’t miss him. You miss the stimulation, the routine, and the illusion that someone wants you. Since you’ve never been in a relationship, you’re confusing emotional novelty with emotional connection. He hasn’t shown consistency, effort, respect for your time, or basic follow-through those are the minimum requirements, not bonuses. A serious man doesn’t disappear, doesn’t downgrade communication, and doesn’t live comfortably in “someday” land. He already told you who he is through his actions, and you’re still asking for subtitles.

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