[Anonymous]

I have been talking to this guy that I met online for about a little bit over a year now. We would have made arrangements to meet but because of distance and work/class schedules we have never been able to do so just yet. We aren’t officially “dating” because we agree that we don’t want to date online and instead date if he is able to move closer to where we could have a relationship that doesn’t require such distance.We have expressed certain feelings towards each other that are more than friendly and sexual activity has gotten involved so it complicates things more. Earlier into our friendship we were just friendly with each other and we talked multiples times every week and even after the sexual things we still continued to still have a good time doing both. Things change of course and I’m ok with not talking every other day but these few past weeks it’s like once a week and our conversations are shorter than usual. Recently when we were talking he told me he had to go because he was feeling sleepy and when we finished talking he continued to stay online about an hour later (he says he was watching a movie). I asked him why isn’t he speaking to me as often and he said he wants to but it was because when he gets off of work he’s too tired but he’s been coming online at night and staying online for more than an hour at a time. I don’t know if I’m feeling this way because sometimes I can’t see him as just a friend, am I overreacting? or is he slowly becoming uninterested???

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The internet is a great place to meet people, but it’s not a good way to conduct an entire relationship. I’m not sure what you mean when you say that things have gotten sexual since you have never seen each other in person, and I’m not sure how old you both are. That said, it’s normal for him to want to have a real life relationship, and it sounds like he may be pursuing women outside of your internet relationship. You’re just hearing dwindling disinterest, but if you read between the lines and understand that a year of “dating” online doesn’t really satisfy anyone’s needs (socially, emotionally, physically and sexually), you’ll understand he’s probably looking elsewhere.

I hope this helps. Let me know how things go — I’d love to see you have a real life relationship with a man!

Please follow me @AskAprilcom (no dot!) on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

Thanks for responding and so quickly! We are not dating each other at least in my eyes. I don’t really like the idea of having a relationship online with someone period, whether it’s friendly or romantic and this really took me by surprise and its my exception. This relationship is pretty much where I want all relationships that start online to end. If someone was to come into my life (in person of course) that I wanted to start a relationship with I would be more than obliged to do so. This is a relationship that if we were to just remain friends I would be fine. I was just wondering was I overacting at the fact that we don’t speak as often as we used to and I guess with time I will find out if my anxieties to the situation were legitimate . I didn’t know if our friendship was slowly ending or if I was overeating to the situation…but again only time will tell.
Thank you again.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you’re confusing yourself. You say you’re not dating, but you’re sexual with him. ❓ ❓ You have never met, but you’re friends. And in fact, in the title to your post, you call this a relationship and wonder if it’s slowing down.

Rather than spending time wondering about this relationship that is online and not in person, friendship and not dating, but sexual 😯 , you’ll be a lot happier investing in real life relationships that are a lot easier to read.

I hope that helps!

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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