[LeaGreen]

Hello . I was seeing someone outside of my relationship for about a year and I ended up falling in love with the guy that I was seeing on the side. I was too afraid of my feelings for the other guy so I would argue and fight with him just to push him away and now he has decided to stop speaking to me. It has been 3 weeks since he stopped talking to me and he ignores my phone calls and messages. We also work together so he ignores me at work as well. I ended my relationship and cut off all ties with guys that he was uncomfortable with me being around but he does not seem to care. What should I do ? Also, we had an argument before he stopped talking to me over something minor . We’ve had other arguments over more important things and he’s never acted like this. I think something else may be wrong but I don’t know what it is and I have tried apologizing numerous times but he just ignores me. I have also poured my heart out to him and told him how I feel about him but he ignored me when I did that as well

[AskApril Masini]

How old are you all? And what was the nature of your primary relationship? Were you married? Living together? Dating? And for how long? Also, is the guy you were seeing on the side married? In a relationship with someone else?

Let me know, because it will help me help you. 😉

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[LeaGreen]

We are all between 21-23. I was in my primary relationship for 3 years and we were not living together or married. The guy on the side was not married nor is he seeing anyone else. I have recently spoken to someone that the guy on the sie was telling how he felt. It turns out the guy on the side is just tired of not being the only one and it’s not that he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I am prepared to let him know that he now is the only one but he does not want to speak to me. How should I get him to talk to me?

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like you were dating a guy for three years, and in the third year, started dating a second guy as well, and you pushed him away by starting fights with him so that you didn’t have to be close to him, but now that you’ve done what you set out to do, you regret it. 😳 And, you’re trying to rewind on your behavior.

I doubt that one incident is what made him cut off totally from you. It sounds like the entire relationship was not working for him, and he decided to move on. You broke up with the guy who was your primary relationship, as damage control, but it was too little too late.

I think that at this point, you have to give him the opportunity to see that you’ve changed. If you have. 😉 He invested a year, which is a long time, and he based his break up with you on that experience. It’s not likely he’s suddenly going to turn around and give it another try unless he’s ready. For now, the best you can do is focus on being the best person you can be, and letting him know by flirting with him, and at the same time, not pressuring him, that you’re interested.

I hope that helps. 🙂

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