[nattyk18]

I’ve really liked my one roommate ever since he moved in last year. This is our second year living together. From what I can tell he has no idea that I like him and I want to say something but also don’t want to mess up our living arrangement. I really like living with him since we are used to it an comfortable with it.
I flirt with him almost all the time and a lot of the time it seems like he is flirting back (I’m not great at telling if someone is flirting or not though). We always do things together like watch movies and just hangout outside. We’ve spent nights sitting around talking till 2 am. Hes always really nice and friendly and even our friends say that we’re adorable when they see us together. The other night we were at a friends place for thanksgiving and we kept brushing hands or our legs would touch and he didn’t move away which made me even more confused.
I really care about him and want something to happen but don’t know how to make a move without messing up our living arrangement. It’s starting to drive me crazy that he doesn’t know and I think about him a lot, so much that it’s distracting.
He’s never tried to make a move and I’m scared to especially since I don’t want to take his first kiss without him wanting to kiss me… He’s never had a girlfriend or kissed anyone so he doesn’t know much about girls or relationships. I’m afraid that me having experience might throw him off.

I don’t know if these are the types of questions you answer but I could really use some help.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Got it — you’re both 20 and you’re living together as roommates, but you have a big crush on him. Here’s my advice: You can’t have it both ways. In other words, you can’t want to preserve the roommate situation — and be in a position to date him. If you do date him, or just fool around with him, you’ll have changed the valuable relationship you have with him as roommates. Imagine if you do date or fool around, and things don’t work out — and he starts bringing home dates, while you’re not over him. Suddenly, your own home will feel uncomfortable. Or what if you’re fooling around and not dating, and he starts dating someone else while he’s seeing you? Or, what if you never date anyone else because you don’t feel single as long as you have a roommate you’re crushing on, and you end up passing up some great opportunities with other guys as a result? Other people already notice the chemistry between you, and guys who might normally ask you out, won’t because they think you’re involved on some level, already. The number of awkward situations between roommates who like each other romantically, and are “just roommates”, looms large.

So, here’s my advice: If you have a lease, ask your landlord if you can have someone take over your portion of that lease so you can move out. Find someone to take your place in the apartment, and find a new place to live, where you can flirt with this guy as a potential date. 😉 That way, you can have a living situation that is crush-free, and a guy you’re interested in dating — and you’ll be available to date him freely, if he does ask you out!

I hope that helps. 🙂

[Lune David]

Omg this whole story is giving slow-burn rom-com with dangerous roommate chemistry The way you two are brushing hands, talking till 2 AM, watching movies and basically acting like a soft-launch couple girl, you’re already emotionally moved in, not just physically.

Honestly, the tension is so thick you could spread it on toast. And the fact that he doesn’t pull away?? Yeah… that boy is not just being “friendly.” That’s premium-quality, USDA-approved mutual crushing energy. 😌

BUT April is right — roommate romance is cute until someone catches feelings harder than the rent bill, and suddenly home doesn’t feel like home anymore. You’re basically living on a romantic landmine. One wrong step and BOOM. you’re crying in the kitchen over cereal.

So yeah… moving out before making a move lowkey sounds like the safest way to keep your heart AND your security deposit. Then you can flirt freely, give him that first kiss without overthinking it, and actually see where this adorable situationship wants to go.

Because let’s be honest — you two already act like a couple… you just don’t have the official trailer yet.

[Member]

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