[aloma]

Hi.

My boyfriend is 25 and I am 24 years old. We have been together for 2 and a half years already. I have been used to him being close and exclusive with his guy buddies and even though he seems to be awkward with my girl friends, It’s okay with me.

Sometimes we discuss about cheating and stuff like that and he repeatedly tells me that if he catches his girl cheating, he’d instantly break the relationship. For him it’s a one time big time thing. Well for me, I’d told him that if I catch my guy cheating, I’d talk to him about it but most likely it’s going to be difficult to accept him again which would also lead to a break up. For me, the definition of cheating is relative to each person.. sometimes it may range from just physical contact like holding hands or having bodies close together.. or it may be the sexual act itself.

Anyway, on to the meat of the matter.. recently, he went to a 18th birthday party with his classmates, both boys and girls. He is studying again because he changed his course. So his classmates are 6 years younger than him. Here in our country it is already legal to drink alcohol at the age of 18. So they drank alcohol during the party. After a few days, I saw on facebook an album with the pictures during the debut. I saw them because some of his classmates whom I have met added me as their contact. Their tagged photos appeared on my news feed so I took a look at them. That’s really what I do when I have nothing to do and there are tagged photos of other people on my news feed. And then when I clicked on them I saw about 5 pictures of my boyfriend with other girls taking turns to have their pictures with him. 2 or 3 different girls cheek to cheek and close up. And I saw one picture with him in the middle with 5 girls around him. He was just sitting there smiling.. he was not extending his arm or anything but the girls were literally trying to lean on his whole body. I was really surprised to see this and I didn’t know how to react. Sure they’re just pictures but they made me uneasy. It’s not that my boyfriend was the one going to them for the pictures. It was the girls who were going to him to have those close up pictures with him because I can see the girls’ arms extended to focus the camera on their faces.

Seeing those pictures with my boyfriend cheek to cheek with other girls (who are 6 years younger than him) really made me uncomfortable. I’m jealous and I feel insecure by seeing those pictures because for the longest time, he didn’t show me that he can be like that with other girls. And it’s been a long time since we had sweet poses in pictures like the ones he had with them. He’s been telling me that he’s uneasy around girls. I haven’t brought it up to him yet because I don’t know how and when the right time is to bring it up. But I have been giving some hints about it.. and I think he kind of gets it and he’s been acting sweet, kissing and hugging me..

BUT, bottom line is….by him saying yes to those girls to have those pictures taken, is that considered flirting? or even cheating?

[Ask April Masini]

He may have flirted the other girls — in fact, he probably did — but he did not cheat on you with them. Don’t make this into something it’s not. Instead, use that uneasy energy you feel knowing other girls in the photos like your man to show him why he’s so lucky to be with you! 😎

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go. And join me on Facebook. You can access my Group Page at AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂 It’s another place to reach me.

[aloma]

Thank you for responding. 🙂

I shouldn’t see those girls as a threat, should I? I talked to a guy friend of mine and he told me that sometimes guys really do tend to flirt when girls try to approach them. In a way, it’s something that makes guys feel good but it does not mean that he’ll want to sleep with them after. I asked him why it made him feel good and if he feels any guilt because he has a girlfriend, he just said that “it’s a guy thing”. It made me confused actually.. men are really from mars. 😆

You’re right.. I should turn this negative feeling into something positive. It’s just that I was really shocked seeing those pictures because I didn’t have a clue and I never imagined that would ever happen. Just because I, myself, wouldn’t be the type of person who’ll be in a picture cheek to cheek with other guys.. I’ll take a shot at what you said because I don’t want to feel jealous and insecure anymore.. Thanks for your positive reply. I’ll keep in touch. 🙂

[Ask April Masini]

The photos are a window into who your boyfriend is, and clearly, you didn’t know this side of him. Take the hint and YOU try adopting some of the flirtatious behavior with HIM!

Men like to flirt because it makes them feel attractive. Women do, too. In fact this desire to feel attractive and appreciated follows people straight to old age homes. Even men and women in their 90s and older like to be flirted with and to feel that someone appreciates them in this way.

Try it! 🙂

Please join me on Facebook. Here’s that link: [url][/url].

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