[Nessie01]

Ok, so I have never been on one of these sites but I need advice badly.

I met this guy. He charming, makes me laugh, good looking, the list goes on. We speak everyday and te conversation is always honest and pretty much about anything and everything. Although we find each other very attractive he decided that we will leave things in the friends zone. I was happy with this because I have only been out of a long term relationship for 6 months.

He sends me picture messages of things he is doing not with him in them but just of the things he is up to at anytime of the day. He will message at 830 in the morning or at 1230 at night. I am the first person and the last he speaks to everyday.

I have also told him that I am not one to sleep with random guys and that I would never ever do it. It’s just not me.

Now, he came over to my place the other night just to hang out. Nothing happened. He was there for a few hours and the he left. But a few hours later I had a knock at my door and it was him. I was shocked that he came back. I opened my door he grabbed me and kissed me. I have never experience or felt anything like it. We did not sleep together as it did not go beyond the kissing but he did stay that night.

Nothing has changed between us conversation wise and it does not feel awkward. He told me the first time he came over he wanted to kiss me at least a dozen times but didn’t want to push the friends thing. And that he knows I am not one to hook up with random guys so out of respect to me he didn’t do it. He still talks about that night and how amazing he thought it was.

However, this is where I get confused. When I mention going out on a date with a guy he gets really quite angry. His messages become one word answers and he wants to know every single detail. It has happened twice now. Once before he kissed me and once aftet. He is the one who set the whole friends thing. If he likes me more than a fried why can’t he just tell me? I am not going to ask be abuse I don’t want to ruin our friendship.

He also said his friend have three girls they want him to meet. Which does not bother me. But one is at a Christmas party he has been saying for weeks that is on Saturday night and has been on a the Saturday night before Christmas for years and then all of a sudden it’s on Friday night. Is he just making it up? I just don’t know what to think.

Any outsiders insight on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re confusing yourself. 😕 He’s being very clear.

He wants you in the friend zone, and to have sex with you, too. He’s not going to tell you he likes you as more than a friend, because he wants the relationship to be friendship with sex so he doesn’t have an emotional responsibility to you. And he wants to date and sleep with other women at the same time. You have a choice to stay in this relationship or not. 😉

Decide what [i]you[/i] want in a relationship. 😉 If it’s a boyfriend, then only spend time with men who want to date you. He doesn’t. 🙁

You’re only in the friend zone if you put yourself there. You have the opportunity to have the relationships you want — but you have to be responsible for your behavior.

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[Nessie01]

Thank you for your advice 🙂 it makes sense. I am not going to sleep with him. I value our friendship too much. He said from the start when we decided to be friends that it could change later on. I don’t like him anymore than a friend so it does not bother me. I just wanted an outsiders opinion 🙂

I just have one question. Why does he get so angry and upset when I go out with other guys?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He gets upset when you go out with other guys because he wants you to only want him. However…. he also wants you to be okay that he’s with other women and isn’t going to commit to you. (It’s called a double standard.)

My advice is that friendship between men and women never works because one person wants more than the other. It creates miscommunication, confusion and behavior that isn’t friend behavior — it’s jealousy. 😉 In other words, if he was really your friend, he’d be happy for you if you were going out with a guy who might turn into a boyfriend. Because he isn’t, he’s not really a friend. 😳

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