[Anonymous]

I am a 15 year old guy dating a 16 year old girl. The first time I saw her it really wasn’t love at first sight, as a matter of fact I didn’t see myself daring her, but then I spent 9 weeks of school with her and saw the beauty behind the beauty I guess. She is amazing and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but there is a problem. We want to wait for marriage to have sex, but it sometimes seems like we can’t control ourselves. Noe I know hormones aren’t helping the situation any, actually making it worse. We want to wait for marriage but I don’t think we would make it, and I know sex before marriage just about always ends the relationship. I was just wanting some tips on how we can deal with this, or even if there is an alternative other than sex to satisfy bot of our sexual desires? Help please!

[AskApril Masini]

If you want to keep your virginity until marriage it’s a great idea to get some support. There are various groups that will provide that support. Start with your church or your high school guidance counselor as ideas for resources for those support groups.

That said, sex is not what breaks up relationships — but it does complicate them and those complications can very definitely be the sources of break ups.

[Anonymous]

Thanks April, but I have a question, is there any way for us to satisfy eachother’s sexual needs other than sex?

[AskApril Masini]

I’m not sure what you mean by “sex”. Are you talking about sexual intercourse? Or other forms of sexual behavior, too? When I hear you say sex, I assume you mean all forms of sexual behavior, but maybe you don’t. Please clarify and I’ll give you my best answer. 🙂

[Anonymous]

I mean as in sexual intercourse, I there any other way to satisfy our sexual desires other than intercourse?

[AskApril Masini]

There are other ways to have sex that don’t include sexual intercourse, but make no mistake, they’re still sex. Sexual acts are not just the sole act of penetration. There are lots of ways to have sex without intercourse — but they are still sex no matter what anyone (including our former president) says. I thought you didn’t want to have sex before marriage. If what you mean is that you’re willing to have sex, but not intercourse, that’s a different stance. Make sure you’re clear and not kidding yourself about what you want and what you’re doing. 🙂

[katdawg]

Perhaps not going on dates where the two of you are alone. Go on dates that are in public places and where there are always people around. You’re less likely to act on your wild hormones in front others 😯 . Seeing one another behind closed doors and alone is asking for trouble. Also remember that no birth control is 100% effective. A condom can break and pills can be missed or not work. So if you’re not ready or understand what it takes to be a parent then seriously think about whether or not you want to risk making one; it only takes that one time. I watch 16 and pregnant on MTV and it saddens my heart that “kids” your age are letting the hormones control your brain. I was there once. I started when I was 13 and let me tell you I regret it to this day and wish I had waited, seriously. If you think you really love her enough to have sex with her then isn’t it worth the wait? Chances are if you have sex …you’re more than likely not going to remember her name when you’re um…38? 😉

[AskApril Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Natalie Noah]

How much you genuinely care for your girlfriend and how serious you are about your relationship. At your age, hormones are strong, and the desire to be physically close is natural and powerful. It’s clear you both want to wait until marriage, which is an admirable goal, but it also creates tension because your bodies and emotions are pulling you in one direction while your values and intentions pull you in another. That inner conflict can feel overwhelming, especially when it seems like the temptation is constant.

One thing that stands out is that waiting isn’t just about resisting a momentary urge. it’s about creating patterns and boundaries that make that choice possible. Going on public dates, spending time with groups of friends, and keeping one another accountable can really help. Holding hands, hugging, and sharing affection in non-sexual ways can strengthen your connection without crossing your limits. Talking openly with each other about your feelings, your physical urges, and your commitment to wait can also be very grounding. it reminds you both why you’re choosing this path, even when it’s hard.

Patience and self-awareness are key. At your age, it’s okay for this to feel frustrating. it’s a lot to manage emotionally and physically. Remember that building emotional intimacy, trust, and shared experiences can be just as satisfying and meaningful as physical intimacy. The stronger your emotional connection grows now, the healthier and more secure your relationship will be in the long run. You’re learning self-control and respect for each other’s boundaries, and that’s a gift that will stay with you both for life.

[Member]

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