[flirtycharm]

Ok, here is the deal. I met this girl online. She lives a couple hours away but is moving to my area later in the year. I got her phone number and we text back and forth for two months before we actually met up. She turned me down countless number of times in those months and then I would go silent on her and then a couple of days later she would text me again back and forth for a little while before I would eventually ask to meet up. She would brush off the attempt. That was basically how it went for two months. I have always been told that if she is still talking to you then she is still interested. I didn’t invest a lot but I did run a pretty standard phone game on her. Basically just sparking emotions. The persistence paid off and we met in the middle of where we each lived. Just at some small bar, nothing special about it. A pretty normal let’s get drinks and talk and flirt first date. It went very very well. Best first date I have ever been on. The week that followed, she would text me in the middle of the night, text me in the morning, text me throughout the day, text me good night. She was giving me pet names. We were opening up to each other and my text were half sparking emotions and half drawing connections to build rapport.

We set up another date for that Saturday. It was going to be dinner, then a bar, then a bonefire. She canceled on me last minute for what seemed like a legitimate reason and rescheduled right away for two days later. We did meet two days later. Once again it was in a location in the middle. I may even dare to say that the second date went even better than the first. She was making some of the moves when it came to making physical contact. I am pretty sure she even leaned in for the kiss first. It was almost like a mutual timing thing where there was a silence in the conversation and we just were on the same wave length and did it at the same time. It was an incredible night. I have never hit it off with someone so well. Though she is extremely attractive, I have been with more attractive girls but there is something about her. Anyways, when I got home that night from the date, she called me and told me that she didn’t want to leave the date and wanted to keep talking to me throughout the night. So we did talk on the phone for a while. The next morning she sent her standard good morning text. I sent her an inside joke good morning text back. She went silent on me from there. So I sent her a text that was another sort of inside joke text that evening. She text me back in the middle of the night with three emjoi smiley faces. Quick side note, like most girls, this woman has her phone on her all the time so I know she saw my text and just put it off till later.

The next day was more of the same silence. No good morning text, not pet names, no jokes or anything, pretty much just silence on her end other than a snapchat of her outfit. I commented on how the outfit wouldn’t work with my ass but she is lucky she is cute enough to pull off that color. She Snapchat me back about 12 hours later with a haha and a emjoi. I was able to strike up a small conversation where we messaged back and forth on snapchat a little but it definitely wasn’t the same. She seemed cold and distant. Finally I just asked her straight up if everything was ok. She said no and that she was struggling with herself. I just said that if she would like to talk I am here for her. The five days that have followed have been much of the same. Very little back and forth texting or snapchatting. I always have to initiate it. Just not like it used to be. Today I asked her to meet up with me again. We were having a good conversation back and forth and so I worked it in at a high point of the conversation and she has been silent on me ever since. Never responded Snapchat says she has seen the message.

Long story short, here is my question. Should I just go silent on her for a bit and see if she starts texting me again? Should I ask her what is wrong again? Or should I be more direct and ask her if she is even still interested?

I feel like she is doing the slow fade or ghosting on me but I can’t understand why. Reading all the signs the last time we met she was really really into me. Like a blind person could have picked up on it. Something happened but I have replayed the date over and over in my head and I can’t figure it out. Maybe some other guy has got her attention. Maybe she got scared of how fast things were progressing. I don’t know I am sitting here confused and don’t know how to proceed.

[AskApril Masini]

Any of the things you mentioned at the end of your post, could have happened — she met another guy, she’s having a health problem, work’s got her down — you’ve had two great dates, but these things happen when you’re getting to know someone and you can ask, but until you get to know her better, you have to take her interest at face value. I think you should going quiet on her for a while because that seems to et her attention, and then invite her on a third date. But in the meantime, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Play the field, and realize that although you like her, she’s got other things going on in her life and as you don’t know her that well, she’s not someone you can bank on just yet.

Hope that helps. Let me know if you have any more questions.

[Member]

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