[single123]

I met this guy who is my best friend’s good friend!!
We both started talking to each other!! My best friend always says we will make a great pair and all that!off late he’s been hinting that he likes me and wants to ask me out and i think i really like him too!Now my best friend says things will never be the same with the good frien dand she will have to maintain a distance from us!And the bond they share is that of a brother or sister! I don’t know if I should say yes to him and make things awkward for them if he asks me out as my friend says things will not be the same! I don’t understand!!: (
Is it wrong to like your best friends another friend?: (

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m not sure how old you all are, which always helps! — but from what you’ve written here’s what I can tell you.

Men and women can’t be friends. The reason is that one person always feels more for the other at some time. If your friend was truly this guy’s friend, let alone his best friend, she’d want him to be happy — but instead, she doesn’t want you to date him, because she doesn’t want him to have the chance at happiness with you. What she wants is to have him for herself. That’s not friendship. It’s her putting herself in the friend zone in the hope that she may one day leverage that friendship with him into more. She may tell you that she has a brother/sister sibling relationship with him, but she’s not being honest.

If this guy asks you out on a date, and you go, she will probably be very jealous and you’ll find that what you have in her is not so much a best friend, as a jealous friend who wants what you have. She may try to sabotage the relationship, consciously or unconsciously, or she may just not want to be around either one of you. That’s a moment for growth in your relationship with her. You can decide to pursue the relationship with this guy and see how it goes, knowing that things will bumpy with your best friend until she figures out that hopefully, she cares more about her friendship with you than she does about losing a guy to someone else — or she may not get there, and you’ll find that she wasn’t much of a good friend for the long haul.

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[single123]

The thing is she wants him to ask me out!!we all are of the same age ie 22.She says she feels its awkward cause she knows us individually.And she says he should definitely ask me out and i should vdate him cause she feels she would never be able to forget the fact that it never happened because of her!!she says shell take time to get over it!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Well, until he does ask you out, this is just academic, so I wouldn’t spend too much more energy on it since it’s just an idea right now. 😉 And if he does ask you out, and you want to date him, it sounds like you should. 😉

Hope that helps!

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[single123]

Thanks!! I’m hoping everything turns out fine..I think I really like him!!:) 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good luck!

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[Ethan Morales]

It’s not wrong to like your best friend’s friend. Feelings aren’t something you can control, and liking someone just because of their connection to your friend isn’t inherently bad. The complication comes from your best friend’s reaction it seems more about her own feelings or possessiveness than about your well-being. That her advice is to keep distance suggests she’s not fully separating her attachment to him from her friendship with you.

April’s point about men and women not truly being “just friends” is relevant here. If this guy likes you and wants to pursue something romantic, and you feel the same, there’s nothing wrong with exploring that connection. The potential tension with your best friend is a separate issue and is not your responsibility to manage at the cost of your own happiness.

Moving forward means being prepared for some awkwardness. If you decide to say yes to him, your best friend may need time to adjust, and you may see some jealousy or distance initially. That doesn’t mean the friendship is over it just means boundaries and expectations will shift. This is a chance to see how much your best friend values your relationship versus her attachment to this guy. You have to prioritize your feelings while being aware that there might be temporary bumps in your social dynamic.

[Tara]

Your best friend is trying to make her feelings your problem. She doesn’t own this guy, she doesn’t own you, and she sure as hell doesn’t get to dictate your love life because she “might feel awkward.” That’s not loyalty, that’s control dressed up as concern.

If their bond is really as “brother–sister” as she claims, then nothing you do should threaten it. The fact that she’s already announcing she’ll “distance herself” tells you exactly what’s really going on: she likes having both of you orbiting her, and your happiness threatens her little ecosystem.

You’re not wrong for liking someone. You’re just scared to admit you’re letting someone else’s insecurity steer your choices. If this guy likes you and you like him, that’s the only part that actually matters. Your friend can either adjust like an adult or pout like a child; that’s her decision, not your responsibility.

[Sally]

It’s sweet when a friend cheers you on, and then suddenly pulls back the second it might actually happen. That kind of mixed message can make you feel guilty for something that isn’t wrong at all.

Here’s the truth nobody tells you: you liking someone doesn’t betray your friend. People fall for people inside the same circle all the time. What changes things isn’t the crush it’s how everyone handles it.

If your best friend really sees him like a brother, then she’ll adjust. She might feel weird at first, but that’s normal. It doesn’t mean the friendship is over.

Don’t shut down something that feels good just because she’s nervous about change. If he asks you out and you like him, it’s okay to say yes. Let the rest unfold.
You’re not doing anything wrong.

[Natalie Noah]

You’re in a tricky but not uncommon situation where your feelings, your best friend’s feelings, and this guy’s feelings are all intersecting. What stands out first is that your best friend genuinely wants you to be happy and recognizes that her own feelings about potential awkwardness shouldn’t stop you from exploring a relationship with him. That’s a really mature perspective, even if she’s worried it might feel strange at first. She’s essentially giving you permission to pursue what you want while acknowledging that she may need time to adjust.

It’s also important to notice that your attraction to him isn’t wrong, your feelings are natural, and liking a friend of a friend happens all the time. The challenge here isn’t your feelings, but the navigation of the dynamics between the three of you. Your best friend seems honest and self-aware about her emotions, which is encouraging. She’s admitting that she may feel awkward, but she also clearly supports you moving forward if he asks you out. That honesty is a good foundation because it sets realistic expectations about the transition from friendship to something romantic.

The key is patience and clear communication. Until he asks you out, you don’t need to overthink the situation or anticipate conflict. When the time comes, you can decide based on your own feelings. If you choose to date him, it will be important to maintain transparency and respect for all relationships involved your own, his, and the friendship with your best friend. This is a situation that can work out beautifully if everyone is honest and considerate, and it sounds like your best friend is trying to handle it in a way that prioritizes your happiness.

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