[mokalatte1]

I was dating a co-worker for about 2 months. I knew the potential of things not working and the difficulty of having to see him everyday. We discussed this when we first got together. Well, when we were having difficulties, he confided in another coworker about it; one who isn’t exactly fond of me. This person spread it around the workplace to others that we were broken up. This created a lot of chaos, needless to say. I still can’t fathom what made him confide in this person. They had become close, and I knew this and didn’t have a problem; because I thought that although they talk about different things about work, I never would have thought he would discuss our personal relationship. So, although we were supposed to be just taking a short break; when I learned of his sharing info with this person, I broke it off permanently. I felt as if the trust was broken. Although I am justified in my feeling of trust being violated, I broke up with him as a knee jerk reaction. I’ve kept my distance at work, but when I do see him; I am civil. I wasn’t civil after the 1st day or so. I completely ignored him and gave him the evil eye, but I have gotten better. He even came to talk to me face to face today when he had a question about work. I don’t know if he was trying to test to see if I was going to overreact and be mean or what, because he didn’t have to come talk to me face to face to ask. Anyway, I do want him back, as I feel like if we can move forward and not focus on the past or try to re-create what we had; but instead create something better, it could work. I have been trying to do what everyone’s advice is when you want to get an ex back. I am keeping my distance, so that he has a chance to miss me. Since we work together and I will have to see him; I try to minimize how much I see him. Even if it is just walking past his room, I try to find an alternate route.

There is no fool-proof way or magic formula to win a person back. I could give him his distance, and he might even miss me; that doesn’t mean he will want me back. I know that. But most relationship experts say kill contact for a while, and wait til that man initiates; but if you must initiate wait a while. I’m trying to do that, but my question is to you is this: his birthday is coming up like 3 days from now. Is it ok that I send a text telling him happy birthday? Or is it better not to say anything at all? I don’t want him to think I don’t care, but I don’t want to seem like a desperate stalker, either. It’s only been a couple weeks since the breakup. So, I’m still having a tough time; but I am keeping busy to not focus on it so much. Thanks in advance for your help.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s fine to acknowledge his birthday. You can even send him a card or something funny and cute. Or make an excuse to poke fun at yourself for having overreacted to the office buddy situation. For instance, you could get him a cute, personal water bottle and jot a note that says something like, next time you feel like gossiping about me over the water cooler, have a private beverage at your desk instead! Or find a funny card with an office water cooler and make a joke at your own expense, wishing him a happy birthday. There’s nothing to charm someone like self-effacement! Especially when you have a specific incident to pin it on.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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