[zhenka23]

Hi. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. We had a good relationship he was very nice to me and my daughter. He always said that I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. I was so sure that he trully loved me. He never went anywhere without me. I am 29 and he is 43.I fell in love with him. He has some female friends who ocasionally post some comments on his facebook but I never really thought anything of it. But about a week ago I found some really dirty and graphic emails to one of his femail friends. She is married but they have known each other for 20 years. I don’t know what to do now. The emails were very graphic but I understood from those emails that they have never been together. When I asked him about this he said that they were jokink around and words just got out of hand. They both say that they have known each other for many years and they used to always joke around. I also found a video of him masturbating and he send it to her. He says that it was a horrific act and he feels so ashamed. After I read and saw I discovered that she had removed my boyfriend from her facebook and deleted her email account. He is bagging me for a second chance and saying that he will do anything possible to earn my trust back. What does this mean? Why did he do what he did? Should I believe that this was trully a mistake? I am hurt and can’t make up my mind.

[Ask April Masini]

Your boyfriend probably did what he did because he isn’t ready for a commitment. Anyone who is dating a woman for a year and feels serious about that woman doesn’t send graphic e-mails and a video of himself masturbating to another woman. 😯 In case you need a neon sign, here it is: He was escalating to a full on sexual relationship with this woman who he claims is an old friend. And he was doing it in the one year the two of you were dating.

You can believe he made a mistake — he sure does! But he’s 43 years old and you have a daughter. This isn’t a man who is Mr. RIght or who is serious about you. Because you’re a single mom you have to be more discriminating. There are plenty of great guys out there who will date you and not send videos of themselves masturbating to other women at the same time. Find one of them!

[zhenka23]

I’m in a very tricky situation. I was in a relationship for three years and broke up with my ex a year ago because he cheated on me with a female friend of his. She was married with three kids at that time when they had the affair. Her husband also was a friend of my ex. I was devastated and told her husband what was happening between his wife and my ex. This incident happened 2/5 years ago. I never saw her or her husband after this. Well after my break up about 8 months later I just happened to run into this person her husband by accident. We said hello and that’s it. Later I ran into him again at a club and we started talking. He told me that he was separated from his wife and going through a divorce. Well this somehow turned into romance. And now we are dating. I’m fully moved on although its strange to be dating him given the fact that he is the husband of the woman my ex cheated on me with. I have strong feelings for him, and I believe he does to. At least he says so. However now his soon to be ex wife and my ex boyfriend found out that we were together and started making things complicated for us. Oh I forgot to mention that she is in a relationship now with my ex. But the problem is that his divorce is very nasty and he seems very confused. He goes through these stages when he doesn’t even know what to do. Now he is pushing me away because he is down and confused. Then he comes back saying he wants me in his life but what he is dealing with is confusing him a lot. She is making his life unbearable so he can’t concentrate on me. What do I do? Do I let him go or do I support him in this mess and take the chance of being hurt. His ups and downs are bothering me. But I have been there in my life and I know how confusing it is to go through a divorce. Do I give up on him because he is not fully ready? Do I wait and see? I don’t know how to handle this. Given the fact that I know his wife and how I got to meet him the first place?

[Ask April Masini]

Since he’s married with children, my advice is to wait until he’s single to date him. 😉 Your dating him is complicating his divorce, so you’ll do two good things by stepping away from this relationship. First, you’ll be giving him the space to get divorced without any complications. Second, you’ll give yourself the opportunity to date people who are not married, and who are available for a serious commitment. 😉

I hope that helps.

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