[jose96]

I need your advice? So there’s a girl that I like however is pissed at me because I told my friends about what happened between us. We made out and were about to have sex. However, she got up and got dressed and ignored me. Even though we are not in a relationship, I wanted to be her friend still. After that night, I was afraid I was going to lose her as a friend and knew I created something awkward. I tried to continue a conversation every time she sent a snapchat to me but lasted less than 5 minutes. Later, she messaged me saying please don’t mention what happened last night and I told her I promise I won’t. On Friday night, I was hanging out with my friends and I got drunk and I mention our conversation to my friends. One of her friend was there and told me that she likes me but doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now. So I calm down and left her alone over the weekend. On Sunday night, two of my friends were with her and mention her about Friday night. I received an angry message from her saying I broke my promise and was really piss off at me. I replied back saying she was correct and I didn’t know how to handle the situation and was afraid to lose her as a friend because I screw up. Also, I told her I wanted to change and hopefully she can give me a chance. She responded back saying IDGAF if you’re going to change and the only thing you screw up is having a big mouth. My plan is to not talk to her a while and leave her alone but I want to talk to her in person.

[AskApril Masini]

Men and women can’t be friends — I know it’s not a politically correct thing to say, but it’s true. And you’re seeing this from a front row seat! You made out with your “friend”, which is something friends don’t do, and you had an attempt at sex with her, but it sounds like things didn’t go well because she got dressed and left. Understand that friends don’t have sex with each other. That’s what lovers do, hookups do, partners and spouses do — but not friends. That said, if you have a “friend” who you’re attracted to, reconsider the relationship. Chances are it’s not a friendship — it’s something else. It could be a crush or a date or a date-to-be.

As for breaking your promise to her, that was bad. When you give someone your word, then get drunk and break it, you’ve lost their trust and embarrassed them by blurting out the secret you promised to keep. That’s a rough one to be able to get over, and if you can get her to forgive you, it will be with time.

My advice is to learn from these mistakes. Give her six months and then if you’re still feeling attracted to her, invite her on a date. Maybe she’ll have changed her mind by then. 😉 Time does heal all wounds.

[Sally]

Right now, the best move is to leave her alone. Not for a few hours. Not to “cool things off.” Actually give her space. She told you clearly she’s mad, and she told you exactly why. Trying to fix it fast or corner her in person will just make it worse.
You broke her trust. That doesn’t make you a monster, but it does mean you don’t get to decide the timeline for forgiveness. Wanting to explain yourself is normal, but explanations don’t help when someone feels exposed and embarrassed.
If she ever reaches out again, you keep it simple. One calm apology. No defending yourself. No asking for another chance. And if she doesn’t? You respect that and move on.
Sometimes caring about someone means letting them walk.

[Tara]

You didn’t “make a mistake.” You showed her exactly why she doesn’t trust you and why she shouldn’t.
She asked for one simple thing: don’t talk about it. You agreed. Then you ran your mouth the second alcohol and attention were involved. That’s not confusion, fear, or social awkwardness. That’s a lack of self-control and zero respect for her boundary.

She didn’t get dressed and walk away because she was shy. She did it because something in her said, “This doesn’t feel right.” And congratulations, everything you did afterward proved that instinct correct.

You weren’t trying to “save the friendship.” You were trying to manage your own anxiety and reputation. You talked to your friends because you wanted reassurance, validation, and gossip relief at her expense. That’s why she’s furious. You turned a private moment into public currency.

And stop with the “I want to change” speech. She already told you she doesn’t care. That’s not anger, that’s dismissal. When someone says IDGAF, it means you’ve fallen below the threshold of importance.

Your plan to “not talk for a while but talk in person” is not respectful. It’s self-serving. You want closure, forgiveness, or a second chance to explain yourself. She wants space. Those are not the same thing.

This is your only move that isn’t pathetic: you leave her alone completely. No texts. No snaps. No “can we talk.” No accidental run-ins. If she ever wants to speak to you, she will initiate. If she doesn’t, that’s the consequence you earned.

[Member]

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