[Maru]

Im going to tell you about I guy I met last week during soem realtives vacations for Easter week. Important facts here. The guy is 42 yrs old, divorced , no kids and as far as I know he is not dating, so then she is single. Im 43 yrs old, no kids, single and unmarried. The guy in question is one of my cousins best friend and lets say he knows most of my family (cousins, aunts) even my brother he knows. I knew this guy from when he was like 20 yrs old or less but I really do not remember him and I think he did not remember me either. The only thing that we both remember is taht al the family went to a pool for Easter local trip during soem vacations and he was there and so did I, but that is it.

The story is quite long

I will try not ot extend myself but the story is a bit long for you to understand. A few days ago during my Easter days off with my family (cousins, aunts, etc) we all went to my aunts house near the beach. One of my cousins arrived earlier in the days but he stayed somewhere else in the town with some friends he brought in and his kid. The rest of the family stayed at the house and also at some cabins 2 aunts run. One of those days my cousin (the one who was not staying at the house) stopped by the house to greet and say hello to everyone and he brought his friends with him. Those 2 friends one were married and had daughters that we all met but we alreayd knew the husband from years before as he visited when he was single the town often to surf with my cousin. My cousin knew this guy from when they were kids and the family also. Then there was this other guy (the one I am particulary interested at), this other guy too was in that town but when he was like 15 yrs old or 20, now he is 42 yrs old. Some of my family remembered him but not me. I only remmeber him by his name not his face, This other friend also is one of my cousin best friends since high school years. Now those 2 friends share a common hobbie with my cousin: they all surf the reason to visit the town during this time of the year but also hang out together to surf to other places in the country, even if one is married but not the other one.

This other guy is 42 yrs old, divorced and no kids and as far as I kow he is not dating. He used to work many years in the US in the banking field and also here int he country but then he got bored and tired of that field and he now dedicates himself to the things he enjoys doing it and love doing it, which is work in the sport field cause he is a surfer now but also he trains and runs, he became a very sporty guy his work now is organizing running competitions. He has nice arms and back and he is very cute LOL!!

The thing is that when we got introduced again we started to talk very casually and it was quick how we got along. This guy that day offfered me drinks, I served him coffee and we talk very casual. He seems like a nice guy. Two days passed and my sister birthday was going to be thrown at the house and that nite there was also a BBQ. My cousin and his single guy came over cause htey were invited of course. The guy bought some beers and I hlped him store the beers on a freeze and he told me that if I want a beer I should tell him so he can bring me one. During the hours this guy mingle with many family members he is like family already and I still talked to him occasionally.

At one point he was sitting on a living room couch and I sit next to him to talk, he seemed please we talked. He showed me things and photos from his cell phone , like him training or his abs before and after, hehe!! then he showed me videos of some guys training in some country, etc He even showed me a photo from Facebook of a lady he used to date but now she is with someone else buit he wanted my opinion since he says that lady is a hypocrit because the lady is posting photos of herself and this new guy like she was really happy cause he knows she is not. He is not dating her anymore, but he knows she is not happy but then keeps posting photo of her and the guy all happy. That is beside the point the point is that we hit it off and we talk for a while at that moment.

Then the hours passed by and he offered me some whisky, I helped him also to chopped some garlic for a marinade he was going to do for the BBQ meat.
Then it was like 11pm and everyone was starting to go to their rooms cause they wanted to sleep but neither him or me were sleepy and he asked me are u sleepy and I said no I am not then he suggested why dont we stay inside the house and talk. I said yes. This day my cousin had to sleep over the house not inthe place he was staying days before, therefore my cousin slept with his son in the same cabin as his sister and the guy had to sleep in the house living room couch. During this trip I slept inside the house in a room.

So he and me stayed at some outside corridor and we talked like 3 hours or so maybe 2 but we talked about many things. He told me about his failed marriage, about his parents, about his days in the US, we talked about his pets, we talked about todays marriages that do not last, we laugh and talked during all that time. He even told me that that when he first saw me earlier (when we were not introduced yet) in the day for the first time he thought I was a hippie or something hehe cause maybe I was wearing maybe some informal dress and my hair perhpas was a mess or with a bun up he even laugh whne he told me that and I also laughed with him. Which that means he noticed me in that particular moment I believe.

He aksed about myself too what was my relationship status, about myself a bit. Then he even grab my hand to see a burn scar I had and then he touched my back to see a rash I had. Also he brought me a glass of water when he went to grabbed his at the kitchen. I had a good tiem with him during htat time I spend with him talking sicne everyone was sleeping but not us. I hope he felt the same with me but that I dont know.

All of a sudden almost at 130am the phone rang, I was surprised as it was vey late for the phone to rang so I went to pick it up and it was one of my aunts (this aunt who called is the mother of this guy best friend) calling form her cell phone, who was sleeping in their repsective rooms of the house to asked me, if the hosue lights were turned off and if the house was closed. I answered her that I had the house keys and I be in charge of closing the house that do not worry.

So I went back to the corridor and the guy asked me: Who was it? I told him it was my aunt making sure that if I had the house keys. Then the guy said Ohh so Im in good hands? I said yes and he laughed.

Minutes passed by and the guy said lets go inside and close the house then. I closed the curtains too. Remember this guy had to sleep on one of the living room couches. So we watned to continue chatting in the living room and all of a sudden and unexpectadly for me, he asked me: Why dont you stay and accompany me? I inmmediately say, When we were chatting on the corridor he was alreayd in his jammies but I was in clothes, cause before everyone went to bed he grabbed his jammies from the cabin where his friend was staying, and he changed in the house in the bathroom anbd he also washed his teeth in the bathroom house. His jammies consisted of a pair of boxers/shorts and a white tank top, he looked gorgeous hehe!! specially when I could see his muscled back and muscled arms.

So when he told me if I could stay and I said yes then he added if If I was not going to get into troube with my family I told him no afterwards a I told him to wait I am going to change to my jammies hehe so I did and I returned with a sheet, pillow and my jammies on. My jammies consisted of 2 piece silk jammies, the shorts and the top that was a strap blouse. What I assume he wanted was for him not to be alone at night and we can continue chatting the whole nite, he in the couch he was going to sleep in and me in the other couch. But then something happened, the minute I layed on the couch, upps another aunt showed up at the livign room and saw me laying on the couch and the guy laying on his couch. Not even my mother did that, it was my aunt. So this aunt saw me there and told me: What are u doing there? You should not be here go to your room and I said Ok i be in my room in a few minutes. I was so embarrased that this guy witnessed that. So this guy like a gentleman told me: Bbetter go to your room so there is no problems with ur family and I said ok.

So then I stand up from the couch and the moment I was heading towards my room he stand up from the couch and he said good nite and he hugged me a bit tight and he kissed me on the cheek and told me “Thanks for the company” then when I pulled away he gave me a kiss on the mouth. I was like in heaven when he did that!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!
He was the one who decided the mouth kiss not me it was just one mouth kiss not taht we made out.

So there comes the next morning and I found out that the aunt who saw me in the couch went straight to her sister and told her what she saw. How did I know that? Because the guy himself told me when he was having breakfast and he found me in the kitchen. He told me that my aunt went to her sister and told her that soemthign may had happened between us and at the same time my aunt told the guys best frieind (my cousin) about the situation.

I was so angry cause nothign happened and also the sister told the other that we would have gotten a motel then if we wanted to sleep together. All of that the guy told me cause he was told that. I was appauled and embarrased to my aunts, assuming that something happened nothing happened at all.

The guy told me that his best friend got all mad at him and like asked him what was going on with me, once his mother told him what they thought it happened then this guy told me. “I told my friend that if it was the case I go straight and talk to your mother and explain the situation so she knew nothing happened”.

This guy told me that when he was having breakfast and very discreetly to my ear like whispering since we were surrounded by many people in the kitchen at that moment.

I mean my 2 aunts I assume did that beause we had to respect the house we were and if the guy had in his mind to fool around with me we should have gone out of the house for that purpose. But that never happened and the only thing that happened was that my aunt saw me in my jammies laying ona couch and the guy in the other couch. Perhpas this aunt thought that we were going to have sex or something right there on our couches. My aunts are a bit old fashioned you know. They never told anything to my mom, and my mom is not even aware this ever happened, the ones making all the scandal were my 2 aunts.

It was the day of departure from my aunts house from all the family who spend Easter those past days. So I said good bye to the guy who had came in the same car as my cousin, his best friend and again we talked about last nite situation cause we laughed and i was so embarrased and the guy asked me again What did they tell you.

I asked him for his phone number and he gave it to me he also gave me his Facebook name.

So i like this guy we hit it off and it seems he likes me but still after all what happened I am really not sure ie he likes me or it is just me the one who likes him.

Let me tell you this. Neither him or me have kids, he is 42 im 43, im not married he is not married,he is divorced, and he even told me that having kids is a big responsability that he does not know if he cant put up with on this day cause he likes to do things on his time without anyone imposing him time or schedules, the same when he was married. He told me there was a time when he and his wife slept in different rooms. He likes to live and enjoy life and he is happy the way he is now. Imagine that he even told me that he does not like the use of credit cards cause that is a rip off, he does not like to be in debt therefore he likes to pay for his own things in cash and not owe anybody money,maybe he says that because he worked in the banking field and he must know how banks works and credit card works. He said he had 3 bad hackers experience before that is why he decided to use cash. It is rate to find a guy like that nowadays. Maybe is the reason I felt compenetrated to him cause Im similar, Im a simple person, who barely uses the credit card, I do not spend a lof of money on things, I try to spend just the necessary and just a bit more.

Now I already sent him a message through Facebook to make things casual, and asked him if he want to join me for lunch one day after I finish my work out and we can also go for a run (sicne he is into train and sports) one of these days. He answered me the next day and told me Sure, lets agree one of these days. SO i told me to meet me the first days of May at some park.

I want to get to know this guy more nit just all the things he told me at my aunts house during the trip. Im sure he must have more things to share with me that he did not share when we talked.

How can I pursue this guy more? I mean we already broke the ice, the family knows him already, he is not a stranger, he is my cousin best friend.
But I dont know if he likes me. I dont want to act pushy or desesperate cause I will scare him away and I dont want that at all. I want to get to know him casually and then go from there and that he also likes to spend time with me or at least enjoy my company.

There is a bday gathering another aunt is planning beause of my birthday at the end of the month at my house, we will celebrate 3 relatives bday anyway. A one year bday, my bday and my brother bday (my brotehr also know the guy due to the link from our cousin), the guy even asked for my brother that why he did not come to the trip like the rest of us.

ANyway if it was me I would like to ivnite the guy for this gathering but Im afraid what the family may say, cause noone will expect him to show up at the house for my bday,e ven if all the family knows him. Of course seeing him there the family will wonder that he and I have something, I mean we dont have anything it is just that I want to invite him , so the more I hang out with him or see him in a casual environment the better for me to know him and talk to him more in a less stressful environment but the problem is that I dont know what he will think when I invite him. He may think Im into him and I being a bit pushy inviting him to this bday and also to join at the park to hafve lunch another day and maybe he is not into having a relationship now cause he wants to be on his own. I mean that does not prohibit him to date girls or hang out that is what I believe. I mean I just want to get to know him more, see him more to know him more, but I dont know if he feels the same or he is just one of those guys who pretend they like a girl by acting the way he did with me and is not true.

How can I go for it with him without act desesperate and pushy and how can I know if he likes me to? Ohh I forgot to mention I have never been in a relationshop before, I never really dated in the past, so maybe this is the first time I found a guy who has things I also like, he is into working out, I do aerobics, I bet we share things from the same age era we were born with. He likes to eat out and so do I. He likes the beach and the mountain a lot.

I dont know if it is an advantage that he is my cousin best friend.

Well this is the story sorry for being sooo long but I had to explain the situation but I like to get to know him more to see if there is chemistry at least between u, maybe he is not up to date yet with girls cause he was married before he likes to hang out before jumping to any relationship, we oth share that same thing but I doubt he does not have female friends he hangs out with I bet he does. I mean im not getting married with him of course but I will like to get to know him better and i know this starts with a friendship and see if we have things in common and enjoy each other company. I like to hang out like many females do and that is normal

[Maru]

Update: I do not plan to invite him to the birthday gathering at home beacuse now the gathering will be focused only on the littlle cousin, so it be more like a kids bday and the rest of the family

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Okay, so you’re 43, never married, and he’s 42, no kids and divorced, and you want to pursue him. My advice is not to pursue him — let the guy be the one to do the chasing, but do give him something to chase after. You should flirt with him, and show your interest, and if he’s interested in you, back, he’ll ask you out. If he’s not, you’ll know because there will be no date. Pretty simple. 😉

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[Maru]

What kind of flirt or tiny hints should I do so he may catch my drift? I tend to go out with him but in a more casual setting cause I asked him like a week ago why dont we meet for lunch after I do my aerobics class on a Sunday but also we can go for a jog at the public park I do my exercises. He agreed to go to lunch and jog with around May. Since we wil be together at that time I guess that be a good opportunity to get to know him more and maybe flirt perhaps?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you should buy and read a book I wrote for women who want to find and get Mr. Right. It’s called [b]Think & Date Like A Man[/b], and it will give you lots of advice on basics like flirting. 😉 Here’s the link so you can buy the book: [url]https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0595374662/ref=lpr_g_1/102-2178981-9624908?s=ebooks&v=glance&n=551440[/url].

I hope that helps!

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

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