[iknowishouldnthave]

we been dating nearly 4 months and have gotten real close and both love each other.
I lied to her about being divorced when we met and I wasn’t… I was given the chance to tell her the true story and I lied to her face about it again until telling her 24 hours later the true story of my divorce and past. we had another time before this happened when I checked her phone and she asked and I said I didn’t and then she asked again and I told yes mins later.. this happened twice .. and I was given the chance not do it again and never have. Until this happened. she prior to this was so happy and had no concerns with trust.She now has huge trust issues and big issues which I understand.. she says that she feels that since the phone incident she has been less attentive and its because of she subconsciously lost respect for me.. and that now this happened saying that something was wrong (divorce issue aswell) but she had no concerns before.. can this be saved and any ideas on how.. or what i can do. I know I have done wrong and confided in her on my past and the reason why I did lie to her and was more of a defense mechanism for me.. I had no intention to deceive her and had no ill intention behind not telling her. she has not broken up with me yet and I know she loves me ..and that is a positive I believe..and we are talking this week about it.. just need advice on what to do now..

[AskApril Masini]

It’s pretty impossible to have a relationship with someone who lies because you never feel safe with them. You’re always second guessing what they tell you. Since you’re the person who seems to be lying, the best thing you can now do is to change your ways and stop. That’s a lot easier said than done, and one of the most important things you have to do is stop lying to yourself. 😉 You said that you didn’t mean to deceive her, and that lying was just a defense mechanism. Well, that’s not true. You did mean to deceive her, and that’s why you lied. So start being honest about everything. In fact, be scrupulous. The only way you’ll be able to keep this relationship is to change your behavior and for her to see that it’s happening, not just to be told. 😀

Hope that helps.

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