[Answersneeded]

Hi,

I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of 8 months who has a 7 year old son. Our breakup was very sudden because of some deal breaker issues but I wasn’t able to say goodbye to his son because he is on vacation with his mom. My ex and are in no contact andi believe it will stay this way.

His son and I had a very close and loving relationship and he told me he loved me and told his dad that he really loved me. I’m hurt because I don’t want his son to think that I just abandoned him and I loved him too.

I have written him a card telling him what a wonderful kid he is and how lucky I was to get to know him and spend time with him and that I’ll miss him but know he will have a future full of love, joy and success.

Question is, should I send the card? I only want to do what is best for the son and don’t want to get back together with the ex.

Any comments or help would be appreciated. Thank you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Yes, send it. It’s very sensitive and kind of you to think of your ex-boyfriend’s son, who will be hurt by the break up. If you want to REALLY do the right thing, tell him that he’s lucky to have a mother and a father who both love him so much. Don’t talk about your hurt and your missing him — instead make it an age-appropriate goodbye. Tell him that things didn’t work being his dad’s girlfriend, but sometimes that happens in life and you were so happy to have gotten to know him because he’s a terrific kid who’s great at baseball (or whatever he’s great at). Make it short and sweet.

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