[whereswally]

Hi, I am due to get married next yr. About six yrs ago i contracted dreaded clamydia. I prob had it for about six months without knowing about it. I then got an anti-biotic and got rid of it. (Im a male by the way). Nobody knows about it but me and i really really dont want to tell my wife to be or anyone else for that matter. However, I am really worried that after we get married i might be infertile (as we are waiting to try concieve until after were married). because of the sti i had a few years back. My wife to be adores kids and will make a fantastic mother and i certainly dont want to be the one who prevents that. Should i just come clean or should i risk it? Does clamydia cause intertility? I dont know what to do? Thanks a mil!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, you have to tell your fiance. If you don’t, the guilt of keeping this information from her — and lying to her — is going to eat away at you. It’s also dishonest and not a good way to build a relationship. Second, intimacy is built by telling each other things about yourself that you’re ashamed of, not proud of, or have kept secret. By revealing these parts of yourself, you get to show her all of you and you get to see who she really is. She will get a chance to show you her true colors.

My guess is that she’s going to be glad you told her, and that the two of you should see a medical doctor together and ask him or her all the questions you have about fertility. I can’t answer your medical questions, and neither can anyone else who’s not a qualified doctor who hasn’t examined you.

I know this is upsetting and frightening but you’ll feel much better having told her and dealt with the issue head on. Marriage and parenting require this kind of honesty and strength. By talking to your fiance and dealing with this [i]possible[/i] problem you’re building the foundation for a strong marriage. Go tell her.

Let me know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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