[Anonymous]

Ok so my bf and I had a baby 4 months ago, he cheated on me when she was almost 3 months old I stayed with him, then he got feelings for her and so o broke up with him, he came back twice saying he wanted me but hen got mixed emotions for her again. We broke up because I was.over it, he had sex with her 5 other times, the entire time him and I have been contemplating about being together, he was constantly hanging out with his friends he used to sell weed and started again! He got suspended.from work, then I found out that he had sex with another girl he used to date and she sent.me texts of.him saying please give me.another chance I want to be with you. Now he’s saying he realizes.and he loves me and people can change? He’s screamed and yelled at me since we’ve broken up to.and called.me every name in the book. About a month and a half after.my baby was born he proposed, I accepted, and we got in a rout and he called me ugly and I called the engagement off. When I started crying he was extremely apologetic. Weve been together for 3 years technically 6. He messed up before and chased me for 2 years, did anything he could to see me. There isn’t anything we disagree on, our wants in life are the same, we grew up and have been through the same and have been there for some of the hardest parts of eachothers lives. I want my family together, its affecting my little girl. I sill love him should I take him back? I’ve also heated on him in the past but I have changed and have been very faithful ever since. Since we’ve even been broken up ive had opportunities to get with guys, but I haven’t because my focus is still on him. He has a lot of emotional baggage, his mother raised him, father cheated and started a.new family with someone else. Could counseling or anything help? He wants to talk today and I don’t know what to tell.him? So should I take him back? Thankyou!

[Anonymous]

No. Apart from his drug dealing, 🙄 he has been unfaithful to you multiple times — in your face no less — and he calls you abusive names. 😥 You took him back once or twice, so he sees no reason to change his ways. He clearly does not respect you. When he does not have you, he wants you. When he has you, he disrespects you with another woman. Just because he decides ‘x’, does not mean you have to respond ‘x’. Otherwise you are being blown around with whatever his whim of the moment is (or woman-of-the-moment). Do you want to invite that into your life again and again? While the history you two shared may have been important at some point in the past, it is the future we’re talking about here. It appears a future with him would be nothing but chaos. 😮 And you have a child’s well-being to consider. You are the role model for that child. A role model takes care of herself and does not invite chaos and drama into her life. I don’t recommend that you continue with this relationship. You broke off the engagement once. I think you know the answer to your own question. Good luck.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[b]Jamiex[/b] gave you good advice. This guy is a loser. He’s a drug addict who lost his job, cheats on you, calls you fat — this is not the kind of man you should want around your daughter or around you. My advice is to put your daughter first and start by setting an example of how a woman should expect to be treated. 😉

Go to court and get a visitation schedule and a child support order, and then stick to it. Allow him structured visits with your daughter, but don’t date him any more.

Since your daughter is only four months old, take a year off from dating and focus on being a good mother and giving your child a stable and healthy upbringing by limiting chaos and bad influences in her life. If you ask yourself, “Is this good for my daughter?” before you do anything, you’ll have a litmus test for your own behavior.

I hope that helps — and I wish you good luck.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

[Member]

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