[Confusedmis]

Well … Hey as I have heard alot about your advices and I hope you will answer my question because im really stuck!! Ohkay so my bf is 17 and im 15. He’s about to turn 18. And as we’re muslims i have asked him to bring proposal to my family when he’ll turn 18 and he’s ohkay with this. We were bestfriends actually and i was always into other relationships.. He use to say to me that leave all and be my gf but i thought as a bestie he’s joking but then after two years i said yes to him and was with with him and we were fine when suddenly he changed. As in he was really cute cheesy boy but then he was changing into a totally grown up boy … So many times we broke up and patched up like it was me … Because he was getting real serious and wanted me to change so his family could accept me like my dressing no guyfriends this and that so i was confuse that i want him or my independence but then i chose him and im ohkay with that it’s just after his father’s death he’s really busy into guests , business and etc. they are two brothers but now he’s also into business and all after his dad becauae his dad was a really respected big person and after him he has to take over and work out these. Im ohkay with that bt to be honest nowadays he’s being a little more busy like i even talked to him about this and he says that he’s trying his best to talk to me but all the time there are people and stuff that he cant talk infront of and he said he’s doing all this for us his mom and sisters for their better lives and wishes… So when i heard this I thought to calm down a little and told him I’ll support him as a good woman but just in return i want a little attention and time…
So now we’re fighting alot alot like on every second thing and he says im making issues …
I asked him for just time and thats it. I dont want to lose him or anything i just want to know what to do
Because nowadays when i get upset he just efforts a little and then back off. I told him my ex wanted to talk and i said no him so he told me to repeat again i said whats the noise at the back is that your mom or you talking infront of her he directly got angered and said no that’s my brother and copied my words in harsh way and said you’re not telling what im asking i said why you being so rude i just asked who’s at the back so he said ohkay fine you’re not telling bye… I called him again and asked him why he’s being so rude he said just tell me what he said i asked him to stop being so rude he said don’t show attitude you’re not telling fine he hang up again. I messaged him that he cut the call on my fave twice so he said obviously you’re not telling what that bastard said i asked him then why are you being so rude to me he said obviously my blood boils when i listen his name so… We were arguing when i said ohkay fine leave im sleepin and he said fine i told him you could have said to wait and talk calmy he said you told me you’re going to sleep i said ohk he said just stop hurting me like this i said am I hurting youuu???? Like howw??? I told him just to answer yes or no? He said sometimes i told him yes or no amd he repeated then i said ohkay fine that means yes i said im sorry im so so so sorry :* (faking good mood) said i wont disturb you every again he said it’s not about disturb dont break me please i said yes there wont be any next time dont worry and backed off he thought i was being normal when he noticed i was being sarcastic and asked me what im upto i didnt reply and now im confused. Because at one point im thinking to ignore him totally like not replying anything and when i meet him I’ll say when you’ll send the proposal I’ll talk then or should i just be normal and talk to him and ignore what happened and make him feel guilty by being really good? I just want the respect back again for me? Like he use to say sorry even if it was my fault or like i just want him to think twice before thinking about me in every step just a little respect. My sister even told me that leave when he talks talk and when he doesn’t you ignore to and act happy. She said dont lose respect by messaging again and again or fighting or asking for time …. But sometimes i feel like yes he’s busy because i have seen him but that doesn’t mean he’s going to disrespect me right? Help me pleasee??! I cant take thus much stress anymore

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re both so young, it’s hard to imagine a 15 and a 17 year old ready for marriage. 😳 Telling him you want him to propose, is putting pressure on him, and his father’s death and his needing to work in the family business is way too much pressure for a young man who’s still a teenager. He’s also got family pressure to bring a woman into the family who is more traditional, and although you say you will be, you’re acting very independent. I’m not judging your behavior — just trying to show you the pressure he’s under. It’s enormous. My advice is to back off. It sounds like the two of you have a very special bond, but you are pressuring him to spend time with you and marry you at a time when he’s mourning his father’s death and undertaking work, and family pressure. Try to just enjoy without setting a time table. Don’t focus on marriage, and find things to do with your friends and family so you’re not so reliant on him. I think that the more you can make a life for yourself beyond your relationship with him, the better the relationship will get because the stress will diminish. 😉

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