[pamelad_p]

I am 47 years old. One would think that I would be able to figure these relationship type situations out by now! Truth is…I feel like a schoolgirl again with a crush on a boy and I don’t have a clue if he likes me or not. Well…I know he likes me…I am just not sure in what capacity he likes me. This guy, I will call John…and his older, happily married brother is Will. Will and I worked on a project about 2 years ago and in that time I had brief friendly encounters with his brother, John. John and I knew each other in highschool, but hadn’t had much communication since. Will and John are very succesful farmers…and have little time for any type of social life. John and I have been out on several, “Group dates.” I have a group of people that we both went to school with….and we go for dinner occasionally. I have invited John to go with us…and when he is not in the fields he will go. We have never been out together on a one on one date. I have visited him in his home…and he is always happy to see me…and ALWAYS a perfect gentleman. He opens doors for me…will not say a curse word in front of me…and last time I saw him, a friend of mine and I stopped by his house unannounced to see if he wanted to go to dinner with us and he had already eaten….but he offered to come with us and have a dessert. So when we went to leave, he picked up the check for all of us…my friend too, (Who is married.) When we are at mutual parties, he will hang out with me nearly the entire time. The other day he questioned me about my roommate. My roomie is a guy… a totally platonic friendship… but I thought it was interesting that John was concerned about it…enough to ask. John has never been married and has no children. Our mutual friends always comment to me, about how John and I seem to have chemistry and our conversation flows for hours. I like him a lot….but he has never asked me out….so I question his attraction to me. What do you think? Am I just grasping at straws here?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think that your having a male roommate is a turnoff. 😳 He may not want to get involved with someone who’s living with a guy, and this situation may be a turnoff for other guys who would normally be interested. Anyone who doesn’t know you very well may think you’re involved and may not ask you out because your male roommate sends the wrong signal.

Aside from that, John may not be interested in dating because he’s so busy with work. The only way you’re going to know if he wants to date you is to not be so available. You also won’t be so frustrated if you give him this opportunity to show you how he feels. You may, however, be disappointed if he doesn’t ask you out, but it’s worth the risk. If he doesn’t, then you know not to waste your time on someone who’s not into you. 😉

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