[Ahiru]

My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost a year. It’s an online relationship and we live rather far from each other. We started out fine, we said “I love you” to each other everyday and we were affectionate. About 2 months back he started being distant to me, he doesnt say i love you all the much anymore, I practically have to force it out of him. He isnt very affectionate anymore either. when i asked him why he said he wasnt sure if i was the one for him, when he said this i felt like my heart had been crushed. I do everything i can to make him happy and to please him, I’ve tried to talk to him about how i feel but he says im being too emotional. He isnt good at talking or handling emotional people, so i try to handle it by myself but it never works and i end up exploding into a ball of emotional tears. this leading us into many big fights, leaving us just plain sad and tired of each other.
I recently found out that he wants to confess to one of his real life friends cuz she is moving back home to her country soon. when i found out i was furious and started arguing with him. He told me that we are just an online relationship, he doesnt know if we’ll work out when we meet, and he cant help it if he’s attracted to someone. I understand that and im okay with him being attracted to someone but he is my boyfriend and i dont think he is right to confess to some girl while still dating me.
(i have the argument above saved from Facebook if you want to see it)

I don’t know what to do really, I want our fights to stop and i want to understand him better. I want us to be the way we were when we first started dating. Is there anyway for me to convince him im the one?

[Clara]

I think that you’re making excuses for what’s really going on here. 😳 This isn’t about long distance. And it isn’t about you wanting to know what he’s really thinking (guys hate it when you ask what they’re thinking or try to have “the talk” about the relationship). Your boyfriend has told you point blank that after nine months of dating, he doesn’t think you’re Ms. Right. You should never force an “I love you,” out of any man. If he wants to say it, he will — and if he doesn’t, he’s giving you a big hint that things have changed — mainly, his feelings about you.

Instead of trying to force him to want you, accept that you’re not going to be everyone’s Ms. Right — and not every man is going to be your Mr. Right. Rejection can be a gift because it keeps you from wasting time with someone who will never be who you want him to.

My advice is to let go and move on. Mr. Right is out there — he’s just not this man.

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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