[Anonymous]

Ok, so I don’t know if I’m writing this to actually get advice or if I’m writing it just to vent. Either way let me explain the situation at hand. Two years ago when I started dating my ex, Jeff, we ended up meeting this guy, Jake. I was drawn to him instantly, but didn’t think I’d see him again or we’d ever talk or whatever. Funny thing happens. Jeff and Jake end up being best friends! Jake ends up around us every single day. I remember the first time he said my name and I got all excited inside. We had a very intence connection. Jeff could tell because we’d both light up around each other. One night Jake texted me telling me how he felt. He told me he loved me and I deserved better than Jeff. I decided it would be wrong of me to leave Jeff for Jake. That was his best friend! And I had already hurt my ex before Jeff and my old friend just to be with Jeff. So, I told Jake we couldn’t be together even though I wanted to be sooooooooooo bad. I was just in shock. Jeff already knew but he decided not to do anything because that was his best friend and I had turned him down. The next night Jake got with another girl, Emily, and I was crushed. I knew he only did it because I turned him down and he was hurt. Funny thing was though that for the first 2 months he was with her he would tell her that he had feelings for me. She hated that stuff, but I loved it even though I didn’t say anything when she would tell me. Jeff and I ended up becoming homeless and stayed over at Jake’s house for 3 months. During that time Emily found out she was pregnant (ended up not being Jake’s) She didn’t like me and I didn’t like her and I’d talk shit about her to Jake’s brother and sister. Emily had turned Jake into a gloomy person and before he was so happy and full of life. Atleast he was with me. Anyways, Jake started hating on me. Talking shit about me. Stuff like that. He told me he hated me up until the day Jeff and I moved out. Stuff happened and Jake and Emily broke up. So Jake eventually started dating this girl he worked with named Cat and moved in with her. I left shit alone for a good while. Not talking to him. I decided to go up to get some food at his old work. I didn’t know he was working that day but when he saw me his face lit up. So did mine. I decided right then that I had to tell him how I had felt before. So I started texting him and what not. He told me to come over one night to Cat’s house cause she was out of town so I could tell him everything I wanted to say, but I later found out that he had been cheating on Cat with Emily and Emily was at the house that same night so that’s why he never called me back. Regardless, I stopped talking to him because Cat called me talking shit over everything. So whatever. Time went by and I hadn’t talked to Jake in MONTHS. I’d see him every now and again when Jeff and I still dated, but we never spoke and it was brief. My heart would always jump though. I couldn’t help but smile. Once Jeff and I broke up things got a little simpler in my life. I had left Jake in the past. I think I saw him maybe 2 more times. Both times our faces lit up, but he was in a relationship and we weren’t exactly on speaking terms. Well, Jake and Jeff had got in trouble during our time living with him. So Jake ended up in jail for a month. I don’t know how I really kept up with all that cause it had been over 6 months since I had seen him or talked to him, but I think Cat ended up telling me. I just thought ya know that sucks. I didn’t expect to hear from him. So I forgot about it and continued on with my life as usual figuring Cat was taking care of him. A month went by and I got a text from an unknown number one day. Just to find out it was Jake. After ALL of these months, and I mean over 6 months of not talking. He started saying how he had never hated me. It was just easier for him to hate on me because he couldn’t be with me and had to see me with another guy everyday. He said he always cared about me and when he was in jail he really thought about me a lot. He said he dumped Cat because she had changed and cheated on him. So, of course, I was ecstatic! I finally got to tell him how I had cared about him all along! He was super happy. His little sister said she hadn’t seen him that happy in SOOOOOOOOOOOOO long! And it was true. He had lost his joy a long time ago. He even said so himself. He said I changed that though. That he had been in love with me since day one. Anyways, we started dating and everything just clicked. It was perfect, or so I thought. He dumped me a week later. Saying he didn’t know what he wanted. He was scared of falling in love again. So I was like fine. When all actuality he later told me that even though that stuff was true, but he still had feelings for Cat because they had been engaged. I got kinda mad that he had lead me on. A week went by and we started chilling again. Cat knew and got pissed and told me to leave him alone. But I stayed the night and we talked and everything was okay again. The next night things got blown out of proportion. He ended up picking a fight with me and he said some shit that really hurt. When earlier that day he was all over me and was so happy!! So I left and didn’t talk to him for about a week or 2. Oh and if I forgot to mention Jake has bipolar disorder. So his moods change constantly. Anyways, he messaged me a week later telling me how sorry he was and how he messed up bad and how he should have appreciated what he had when he had it. So we started talking AGAIN. We didn’t officially start dating again because he was still very scared. He said he knew he was falling in love with me. He said it scared him a lot because he had been hurt so much in the past. He said Cat had told him that we were perfect for each other and he just smiled. When I had told him that Cat and him were meant to be back when they started dating he got really pissed off at me because he didn’t believe that. Anyways, we chilled for a couple of days together. Things were perfect again. Everything was right with the world. We didn’t need anybody else. Just us. He would text me all day on his new phone. We didn’t have a lot of sex. Which was weird for both of us to not constantly need it, but we were so content with just being next to each other. But when we did for real like making “love” So when we finally did have sex again it was perfect. He got really deep and was just questioning why I liked him so much. He said he realized something in that moment that he would tell me later. Anyways, I left that morning and he texted me all day. He asked if I wanted to chill later that night and I said yeah. He was at his friends house though so he said I could go wait at his house for him and he’d be there soon. He said he was going to tell me what he realized the night before and that it was scary for him but it was good he thought. So my guess was he was going to tell me he realized he did love me. Anyways, I got there and waited for like 20 minutes before I decided I was getting bored and wanted to leave because he wasn’t responding to my texts. Right as I walk outside I get a call from Cat. She wanted to beat me up last time she heard Jake and I were talking so I was kind of nervous. She asked me what Jake had been telling me. My whole body just went cold. I was like “no…..” I knew Jake well enough to know that he had just messed up again. I asked her “why” and she told me that her and Jake had been together the whole time he had been talking to me. I told her what he had been telling me. That he was falling in love with me. That we had sex the night before. She had me on speaker phone and Jake was in the car with her. He starts saying “Btch I told you I loved Cat!” which he had never said to me before. Then he told her that we didn’t have sex the night before which was a lie but she believed me over him that time. I was like whatever. By that time I had gotten to a party with a friend of mine and didn’t want to even bother with it anymore. I had just been hurt again by him. The text before all of that happened from him was “thanks baby, i’ll bet there soon.” The text after that all happened “you’re a nasty whre. lose my number btch.” HAAAAA. I was the one that got played and he was going to get an attitude with me?! Right….well Cat called me for the next 3 days asking me if I had talked to Jake or if I was around him until I finally told her to back off cause I hadn’t. She stayed with him and I wasn’t going to stick around for that. She still wants to beat me up too. Anyways, it’s been a month since I last talked to him. But I’ve passed him while I was driving 4 times…twice in the same day at completely different locations and I ended up behind him! That’s more than I saw of him then when we didn’t talk for that over 6 month period. I was flipping out. I still cared for him even though he hurt me and seeing him like that was pissing me off. So I texted his friend and told them to stop driving by me. They said some smart mouthed stuff and basically told me to leave them alone. Which was fine with me. Then the next night his friends start texting me!!! HA! Saying stupid stuff and being jerks. Jake got the phone and texted “I’m sorry. I was just kidding” after the first mean thing they had said to me. I know because I know the difference between Jake typing and his brother who was saying all the mean stuff. Then his little sister called me the other day asking me to come get her because Jake was being a jerk. That him and Cat had got into a fight earlier that day and he was being a jerk the whole day even though Cat was still over there. Apparently Cat had been asking if he even loved her. Whatever. When she was on the phone with me Cat left. Jake’s little sister’s friend took the phone and was telling me how Jake had been mean to his sister. Then Jake starts going off on her friend. Cussing at her and throwing her stuff at her all because she was talking to me on the phone. He was slamming doors and doing all that bipolar angry stuff. Later on she told me that he had asked her “are you in love with that btch?” referring to me, and all she said was “NO BUT YOU ARE!” He didn’t say anything. Just walked away and slammed the door. So…with all of this going on I knew he couldn’t help but think about me. It seemed my name was everywhere even though we hadn’t talked to each other and only seen each other while driving. Anyways, I got online the other night and for the first time in over a month Jake was online. It was yahoo messenger and I knew he was just on checking his mail cause he didn’t IM anyone except for me a few times. He didn’t have a lot of friends. I didn’t say anything to him. I just sat there looking at his name waiting for him to get off because I knew he wouldn’t be on long. An hour and a half went by and he was still online. I was like WHAT THE CRAP?! So I decided to be sneaky and see what would happen if I logged off. I went invisible and I kid you not that a minute later he signed off. I knew he was thinking about me because I had good intuition about that the last two times, but I didn’t know he might actually want to talk to me until that point. I don’t think he even thinks I’d talk to him after the stuff he did. And I won’t say anything to him simply because I don’t know how he’s going to react, or how Cat will react, or what will happen. He’s the one that told me to bounce. So I did. I don’t know what else to do though. I want to talk to him. I feel like there has been no closure at all for either of us. We had been great. Everyone saw how happy I made him and how unhappy he was with Cat. He used to tell me how I deserved better than him and how he didn’t deserve to be happy. But I don’t understand why him and his friends have to be mean now when I was the one that got played and hurt. I just guess I want to know if he’s missing me or even still loving me. He didn’t have to cheat on Cat with me. It wasn’t like it was about the sex. He truely had strong feelings for me. I don’t know….sorry this was so long…just tell me what you think he is thinking or feeling or why he’s doing these things?????

[kai]

Hi, I’ve told this to several other people who have posted questions in the WELCOME AREA: the Welcome Area [b]IS NOT for questions[/b] and [u]should not[/u] be used to get advice. 😮

it says “DO NOT post your questions” here, when you go to sign up. 😳

Please [b]repost your question in the Q & A Relationship Advice Forum[/b] if you want to get a response from April.

[b]you won’t get a response to your question here — this is the welcome area.[/b] 😀

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Let me know how things are going for you? 😉

[Member]

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