[Dances with Trees]

Apologies in advance, the post is a bit long, I feel I got a bit carried away.

Right, this is my first time posting though I ‘ve been quietly stalking the forums for a while now. Makes for a fun read filled with interesting people.

Anyways consider this my turning on the proverbial Bat Signal. Gotham city needs YOU!

Right where was I.

Last year was a very hard patch, romantically, ended a very serious relationship. She was a girl that I could see spending the rest of my life with, although I did not tell her that ( only 25, I ‘d think it ‘d freak her out, who knows now).

It was a very difficult relationship from the get-go. She was bipolar and she had ISSUES; capital letters are warranted, trust me. One day I ‘d be God and the next day she ‘d barely talk to me. I wasn’t the most stable of people, emotionally at the time, probably because I really was crazy in love with her at that time too, anyways the whole thing crashed and burned at some point last June.

Since then I really kinda felt like avoiding women. I was going through a bit of a mourning period you can say. I did not even want to think about the possibility of dating, I think there was no point, since relationships are just gonna end up hurting you in the end. (In retrospect immature though, but I guess one that is natural).

So due to emotional and financial reasons I packed up and left to another country. After I got things settled here I started getting interesting in flirting with women again.

I made an OKCupid profile and started talking to some women there. A few days ago, I was talking to a particular girl there and we completely hit it off. We exchanged like 60 messages in like 48 hours or something. At some point I mention that they ‘re playing “Swan Lake” in the local playhouse and that I ‘ve been dying to see it, and probably I am going to.

She responds that she loves it as well and that she has noone to go with her so I suggest we go together, she accepts.

We go for a pre-show drink, talk, everything natural, and non-stressed. Kinda feeling ya get like you ‘ve known that person for a long-time y’ know?

Anyways we go to the ballet (If anyone is interested, they opted for the ending where everyone dies in the end, and yeah I payed for the tickets and would have none of it, I don’t let women pay on the first date, no matter what).

After it ended I suggest going for drinks at this local pub I know. We stay there for like 5 hours, drinking. We must have been the last customers at some point because we were politely asked to get the hell out 😛

But in general, talked about everything, from the meaning of life, God, eradication of violence, wars, Star Trek (Which she loves and I am a crazy big fan of), all the way to travelling around the world and seeing EVERYTHING.

I tried being a bit physical during this time, brushing her leg or resting my arm on her knee at some point, she didn’t seem to mind. She also did this weird thing which, I am hoping some woman here would explain, she had this shawl and while wearing a lets say “revealing” dress she would cover her bussom and then a few seconds later just remove it all together. Must have happened at least 10 times, which I found weird. (I am not the direct-looking at the chest- guy, by the way).

Anyways, we left the pub, and she said that she had to take a cab back home because it was late. I offered to go by my apt. since it was close and we could call a cab from there. Anyways, just before she is about to leave and we go for that “goodnight hug” thing I turn my head and plant one on her lips. Nothing serious, no more than a second but she didn’t seem to pull away from.

Anyways to the reason why I actually made this LONG-ASS fragging post.

A) I explained everything in detail because I actually got ZERO skills at reading situations or people. Most of the time I have to guess. How does the whole situation look to you?

B) How should I approach things from now on? What should my next step be?

C) In the past I was too afraid to make a move, when out with a girl which made most of them turn to friendships and I don’t want that to happen now, but on the other hand I don’t want to be too forward. What should I do?

I haven’t allowed myself to “like” someone in a while, and truth be told, even though I am a bit afraid of admitting it, I really like this girl, our interests match to such a weird degree, we ‘re both very emotional people and both adore Leonard Cohen, I really don’t wanna screw it up and that happens usually cause I am a very forward, all or nothing person but I feel like taking this slow and steady.

Please shine me with your wisdom people! God knows I need it!

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like you had a good date. You should wait a few days and then ask her out on a second date. 🙂

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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