[Anonymous]

The last 18 months of my life have been a roller coaster ride, and it all has come down to this. need some advice, desperately.

Two years ago I was 27 years old, single, a virgin, never been in a relationship, didn’t drink and owned a computer consulting company. A friend of mine insisted I read “The Game” by Neil Strauss. It completely changed my life. I got a new wardrobe, started going to the gym, going to bars, online dating – I went from having no girls in my life to having more women than I knew what to do with. Life was awesome.

About a month ago, I met this absolutely stunning blonde at a business conference. We hit it off immediately. I kept my restraint, but she honestly one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever met. We exchanged numbers and I went home with huge expectations – proud of myself of being able to attract such a woman.

Over the week we flirted heavily over text messaging and phone conversations; this girl (who is a model) was nervous on the phone with me. This blew my mind, as since I‘m just an average looking guy. I was so confident and cocky at this point. My expectation continued to grow.

Our first date was at my house, the plan was dinner and a movie. We cooked it together. The chemistry was perfect. We talked and talked about everything. We have so much in common. Not only was this girl hot, but we was funny, kind, smart as hell. We connected on every level. We started kissing even before the meal was ready on the kitchen table.

After dinner we snuggled on the couch together and made out while the movie was on. When the movie was over I wanted to continue making out, but she thought it was time to go home. I got really confused, shocked even – given how things were going so well. I got noticeably upset, then tried to recover by saying “this is going a bit too fast” – thinking that would convince her to stay. It was like I was drunk on all these emotions, not knowing what I was doing at that point. All of this happened in a span of 5 minutes, and we ended the night on a sour note, with her leaving, and me being confused and upset.

Over the next two weeks I tried to get another date with her; but she avoided my calls, and although she agreed to potentially another date way in the future, I was going to be super busy so I insisted on seeing her ASAP. Since that last e-mail – not a word from her.

I can’t believe five minutes can ruin something so quickly, especially given the fact the chemistry between us was so perfect. I refuse to believe it. I will be honest; my initial goal was to get another notch in my belt, but as the night went on I realized this girl was something special, and worth pursuing much more seriously.

I sent her a funny Holidays wishes text like I do all my female friends, and there has been no response from her.

I have two other women who are pursuing me right now, but none of them come close to being on the same level as me as she was. I don’t know what to do – but I do not want to give up on her.

Dazed and confused, please advise!

CGNM

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You were looking for a notch on your belt, and that’s what you got — only you changed the game plan mid-game. 😕 What it sounds like is that you realized during that date that you could get a woman who was not only beautiful, but smart and funny, too!

My advice is to change your game plan and start looking for exactly what you want — Ms. Right! Clearly, you have the ability to attract what you want, but dating is more than just attracting women. I’m not familiar with the book you suggested, but I can highly recommend, Date Out of Your League, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url], a book I wrote for men who want to win with women, and that’s EXACTLY what you need right now: a winning game plan.

Sending her the holiday text that you send all your female friends, was a mistake. 😕 If you want her to be more than one of your female friends, you’d better start pursuing her as if she’s more than just a female friend! 😉 Read the book and follow the advice. It WILL help you.

Then let me know how it goes.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook, too, at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the quick response. But how can one pursue if there is no response? I checked out the sample chapters that you have available on the internet; and it looks like the same information already available in many other books I have read. Regarding “The Game”, I find it odd that a relationship expert wouldn’t be aware of a NY Times #1 Bestseller about men pursuing women.

CGNM

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Obviously, reading a NYT best-selling author didn’t help you! 😉 You may find that odd — but I don’t. 🙂 I get lots of readers who come to me for help, and they are well educated and well read and very wealthy as well as the opposites of all those — and they STILL need help they haven’t gotten in ivy league institutions and the best corridors of the world! Matters of the heart aren’t quantitative, so it would behoove you to let go of your ideas about where your help comes from, and decide to pursue the help that works for you! Now, it seems very apparent that you need to try an author who is not on the NYT list, but who can help you — me! Read the book — it’s a small investment ($15 and an hour or two), and the payoff may be huge. Low downside, huge upside — what are you waiting for?! 😆

Read the book and then come to me for free advice — it’s much more efficient that way.

I hope you’ll have a wonderful and safe New Year’s Eve and a 2011 that starts with a new outlook on dating — spearheaded by Date Out of Your League! [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. 😀

I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter where I post highlights from this forum daily.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to hear about your dating mishap! It sounds like she was really into you and then caught a glimpse of a not-too-pretty dark side.

If I were her, I would also not reply to your holiday spam text. If anything, it would just fuel my perception of you as a superficial jerk looking to love ’em and leave ’em.

Now, in fairness to you, it sounds like this was all a bit of a blip made by a dating adolescent finding his feet. If this was really just a one off moment of confusion and sexual tension, perhaps you should try a fully fledged overture of apology. It’s going to take a lot more than a text to gain a sane girl’s trust, but she sounds like she might be worth the effort.

I suggest watching “Say Anything”, “Can’t Buy Me Love”, and “16 Candles”… get inspired and get creative to try to win her back. If your grand gestures can’t warm her up again, you might just have to forget the notch and add this one up for experience, wish her well and don’t make the same mistake again.

Good luck!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

What great movies where the underdog triumphs! And if they help, that’s wonderful, but Date Out of Your League is a book written to help the everyman, and it has real pieces of advice for various situations. Here’s the link for the book: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. I don’t just hawk books — I recommend them when I think they will HELP!

So I hope you’ll take this disappointment and turn it around by reading the book, Date Out of Your League, and trying a different strategy with women. 😀

[Pearson]

I think you should just cut the cord and just use this as a learning experience. If something happened the other way around – she offended you and then just wouldn’t give you space (after ONE date), you probably wouldn’t want anything to do with her right?

Everyone goofs up royally every once and a while with the opposite sex. The key is too learn from this experience and not be a stalker.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I sure do agree with [b]Pearson[/b] that you should use this experience as one to learn from and do things differently next time! 🙂

[Member]

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